Cornerstones of Confusion
by Barb2
Summary: L/L Thought I died and fell of the planet? Think you're hallucinating right now? I don't blame you! Yes! *CHP 5 IS UP* Enjoy (and review - or you won't get another chapter for about a year. haha)
1. Margaritaville Painkillers and One Shot ...

  
TITLE: "Margaritaville Painkillers and One Shot of Gilmore," Part One of Cornerstones of Confusion  
AUTHOR: Barb  
RATING: PG - oooo, I said "hell" - and one "damn" within a musical context  
SPOILERS: Big ones for "Love, Daisies and Troubadours," the season finale.  
SUMMARY: Rory catches Luke drunk after-hours at the coffeeshop - she thinks he's upset over Rachel leaving,   
he's a little too drunk to care whether or not he keeps his mouth shut - irony ensues.   
FEEDBACK: brenna_mairi@yahoo.com {Cut and paste numerous witty feedback pleas I have read   
over the years of being a fanfiction reader. I don't think I need to reiterate that I would love some  
feedback - good as well as "constructive criticism"!}  
DISCLAIMER: Yadda, yadda, I'm jealous that they *don't* belong to me, but that's how my   
life goes so. Amy Sherman-Palladino, who is the creating goddess, and WB are the guardians of   
this wonderful material.   
  
Enjoy!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Luke hated 80s music.  
  
More precisely, Luke hated anything that had to do with softy-gooiness and flashy outfits. The music of the   
80s contained both. Hence his burning hatred.  
  
He would probably, after some deliberation, make the declaration that he hated all music. Every last bit of it.   
This complete and utter hatred of everything sing-songy was the main reason why he wondered out loud why   
the hell he had the radio on.  
  
"Why the hell do I have the radio on?"  
  
The Bangles' most angelic voices soared into the air - throwing knives into Luke's skull.  
  
His head fell hard and swift, coming into somewhat uncomfortable contact with the diner counter. Ok. Slightly   
more than "somewhat uncomfortable."  
  
"Ahh!" Luke shrieked. "Who cares? Pain." Bang. "Is." Smack. "Good." Thud.   
  
He then unfathomably continues to hit his head against the counter after four attempts that were within some   
sort of twisted reason. Some one might call that moronic. Some Lorelai might call that moronic, Luke thought   
to himself, which was hard to do considering he was ramming his head against a counter.  
  
He finally lifted his head. There was an enormous red mark where he repeatedly bludgeoned himself, but no one   
was there to notice. Not even Luke.   
  
"She looked so happy." Siiiiiiiiighhhhhh. One would be surprised at how much air that man could hold in his lungs.  
  
None of this would have happened if Rachel didn't awake my inner demons.   
  
"I'm sure you tried Luke. But admit it, you're heart wasn't in it. … So don't wait too long okay."   
  
"To what?"   
  
"To tell her."  
  
Why did she have to say that? I would have continued to lie to myself and have it actually work and   
seem reasonable. Now all of these thoughts are coming out of nowhere and I can't lie to myself anymore.   
Hell, I can't lie to Rachel, how could I do the same favor to myself?  
  
I'm going to have to, though. I can't make things awkward for Lorelai just when things are going right for her.   
  
All of a sudden, out of the blue, Mr. Jimmy Buffet begins to croon his ever-popular hit, "Margaritaville" on the radio.   
Well, in all honesty, the song was prefaced with "and next - shake it up and grab those little umbrellas!   
It's 'Margaritaville' by our good friend, Jimmy Buffet!" This situation calls for more of a dramatic emphasis, though, and   
therefore, Luke felt it appropriate to say to himself that he was indeed startled by this rousing number.   
  
Growling and mumbling something about how much "anything with notes and words sucks," he is about to turn the   
radio off when he half-mumbles, "Hmm. You know what? That's a good idea, Jimmy."   
  
The man was now on the search for that sweet, potent cure for the love-lorn - a margarita.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Earlier that day, Luke still had a semblance of confidence. He wasn't quite sure what he was feeling, but...   
ew, he just said "feeling."  
  
He was actually somewhat proud of his exhibition of testosterone at Lorelai's house. Max was scum.   
Unworthy. *Dead meat.*  
  
And Lorelai was in love with him.  
  
When she burst into the coffee shop she looked distraught. Luke soon found out that it wasn't a   
"coffee-could-fix-anything" distraught. It was far beyond that. And far too... happy.  
  
"Calm down, is everything okay?"   
  
"Yes, maybe, I think so. I don't know."   
  
She was uncertain. That's a good sign, he thought. Not sure - no positiveness whatsoever.  
  
"So what's going on?"   
  
"Big things. Big potentially life-changing things."   
  
Oh. Gulp.  
  
"Have some coffee while you wait."   
  
"No, I couldn't take coffee, big hole, through the roof, very bad."   
  
No. Bad bad bad. No coffee? Who died? Luke's mind raced, but he knew exactly what she was   
talking about - he just kept hitting it with a monster-sized bat back to the recesses of his thoughts.   
Bad thoughts, bad.  
  
"You're saying no to coffee. This is big. Can't tell me what it is?"   
  
"I just really need to tell Rory first."   
  
Understandable. Just... have some coffee. Put me at ease, woman! If I can't be the man with heaven   
in a mug, what can I be?  
  
"But you're happy about this news."   
  
"I might be. Maybe. It's just kind of a, wow I can't believe this is happening to me kind of a   
mindblowing moment."  
  
One of those. Oh. Ok.  
  
Lorelai hands Luke a daisy, "The whole town gets one today."   
  
Luke says "bye" to the dust Lorelai leaves as she runs out of the door. Luke doesn't feel too good.   
He said he'd always be around and that wasn't a lie. But - would she always be around to notice?   
Luke had no power over the overwhelming sense of hopelessness he had at that moment.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"I'm outtie!"  
  
"Outtie? Outtie whereie? We just had the most exhilarating conversation over the most exhilarating plate   
of brownies and you want to leave me here alone with nothing but the exhilarating brownie crumbs?"  
  
Rory stares into some unknown distance. "Exhilarating has now lost all meaning to me."  
  
"No. Seriously. I'm not finished gushing about Max. I want to use my oh-so-perfected imitation of   
glamorized teen-talk a la Dawson's Creek!"  
  
"Even though I'd pay money to see that, I just... I don't know! I have to get out of here. I need to   
burn some physical energy. I've already exhausted my verbal. You can come, though. Just walk with me."  
  
"Even though that is tempting, I believe these brownie crumbs are even more so."  
  
"Wow. Thanks. At least I know where I stand."  
  
Lorelai gives her daughter a "you-know-I-was-kidding" look and then followed that with her "now-I'm-  
getting-serious-so-I'm-making-you-aware-because-this-is-a-rare-occurance-and-I'm-sure-you-might-not-be-sure" look.   
  
"I'm going to stay."  
  
"Mom..."  
  
"No, I really want to. With you gone I might just make that dirty phone call to Max that I've been dying to make."  
  
"Oh Mom..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You really didn't have to push me any harder. I'm already gone. Night."  
  
"Don't be gone too long on my account!"  
  
With that, Rory was already out of the door and walking in the direction of - wherever.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Back at the AA Ranch, Sir Self-Loathalot downed his first of what he hoped to be an astronomical amount of margaritas.   
  
"I'm wastin' away again in Margaritaville. Searchin' for my... lost shaker of salt."   
  
Luke sang with a heavy heart. Ok, he wasn't quite "singing," more just adding to the texture of the melody   
Jimmy sang by pounding out the lyrics with his dry, monotone voice.  
  
"Some people claim that there's a woooooman to blaaame. But I know... it's my own damn fault."   
  
With those last five words, Luke bitterly stated the criticism aimed straight at his heart as he slammed the glass   
on the table. He didn't expect to use that much brutal force, so he lifted it up to make sure no damage was done.   
Then he proceeded to slam the glass, once again, against the table.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Rory wandered up and down the streets of Stars Hollow, thinking, humming, even occasionally twirling out of nowhere.   
  
She came upon a revered and sacred building, The Coffee Shop. Big T, Big C, Big S. She doubt it would be   
open, but if Luke is hanging around he might just give into her charm and obey her every whim the way he does   
with Lorelai. What I must live up to, Rory thinks wistfully. I need to start taking notes. Not that she ever had   
any trouble wrapping Luke around her pinky finger five times over. Actually, it was more a protective ape-ish   
quality than any awestruck submission of all power, she thought.  
  
With jumbled images of Dean, memorabilia of encounters avec Dean, and a little side dish of "Oh-my-God-  
my-Mom-might-be-getting-married-to-my-teacher" all floating around in her frazzled mind, she almost fell   
on her backside while stepping up to the curb. The curb. A small raised section of the ground could completely   
take the life out from under her. She was beginning to scare herself so she shook her head. That only got rid of the   
side dish, though.   
  
She walked up to The Coffee Shop door and peered inside.   
  
What she witnessed she did not yet know was one of the most depressing situations in the entire world. Not   
to mention one of the most pessimistic, comatose drunks one could lay their eyes on.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
One hour and five margaritas after Jimmy sang his God awful, worst-song-in-the-universe that likes to screw   
with poor men's minds, Luke sat at a table at the far end of the coffee shop, feeling heavier than lead. Feeling  
that feeling Superman gets when some witless villain whips out the Kryptonite and says "ah HA!"  
  
Rory doesn't like what she sees. It can't be. Margarita mix at the counter. Wait. No. A total of 4 cases of   
Margarita mix. He could ruin the livers of an army in there, she thinks with a concern all her own. Luke   
drinking margaritas? Why does this sound so very wrong?  
  
"Luke's come unhinged," she whispers under her breath. "I know what must be done. Gilmore genius to the rescue."   
  
She is shocked to find the door still unlocked. She creeps in and is even more shocked to not see Luke turn   
around to catch the weasly waskel that's trying to break in. He's out of it. Poor Luke.  
  
"They call me Mr. Pitiful. Baby, that's my name now. They call me Mr. Pitiful. That's how I got my fame."  
  
Rory winces at his scratchy, flat, completely unflattering voice. She recognizes Otis Redding on the radio and   
is, for the thrice time, shocked that Luke even knows the words. He never seemed like the good old fashioned soul   
music lover.  
  
"But people just don't seem to understand. How someone can feel so blue. They call me Mr. Pitiful 'cause I   
lost someone just like you."  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Ahhh!"  
  
Luke finally turned around to look waveringly at Rory, who stood with mouth agape. This man needs major   
reconstructive surgery.   
  
"Rory?! What..."  
  
"I was out for a walk. I saw the lights on and ... well..."  
  
"Is something wrong? Is..."  
  
"No. Nothing's wrong - with *me* that is. *You* on the other hand..."  
  
Rory moves toward the table in the dim light and sees the ever-present scowl on Luke's face. She takes the seat  
next to him.  
  
"Luke?"  
  
"Hum?"  
  
"Margaritas?"  
  
"Don't ask."  
  
"I think I just did, but ... either way, that seems so not like..."  
  
"What, I can't break out of my mold from time to time and enjoy a less 'manly' drink?"  
  
"No. It's just that, well... Luke breaking out of any mold comes right before hell freezing over."  
  
Sigh. "I guess I'm a little ... I feel a little different right now."  
  
Rory decides to get down to business and places her hand gently on Luke's arm.  
  
"You're thinking about... *her* aren't you?" Rory decided it was in her best interest and Luke's if she didn't   
say Rachel's name. She felt it would only make Luke's face look even more floppy and forlorn, and she hated   
to see Luke so upset.   
  
Luke looked up in surprise and narrowed his hazy, drunk-man eyes. "Yeah. How... (narrowing of eyes... now)   
did you know?" It doesn't matter that if Luke was in any way, shape, or form sober he would realize just what   
"her" Rory was referencing. To him, there was only one *her* right now.  
  
"Us Gilmore girls have a certain je ne s'ai quoi."  
  
"Tell me about it."  
  
"Oh believe me - I can. But I'm here for you, not me. I can see it in your hazy, drunk-man eyes, Luke. Plus -   
you have an 'easy listening' station playing on the radio. Something very serious must be wrong with you."   
  
Big O was singing, "How can I explain to you. How somebody can get so very blue." His voice real, more real   
than Luke was feeling at the moment.  
  
"It's nothing. Nothing *you* should worry about."  
  
"How so? I'm worried as it is - I don't think there's any going back for me. Sorry. You're a good friend, Luke."  
  
Luke's not drunk enough to not recognize a good heart and he looks at her and rewards her kindness with a   
quarter of a smile. It's all he could muster. "Thank you."  
  
"Of course. I would understand if you don't want to talk about it, but ... let me say a few things."  
  
"No, no... I... you..."  
  
"You can't stop a Gilmore from not talking so don't even try, mister." Rory took the sigh of resignation that followed   
as an "ok" and continued.   
  
Rory listened to Mr. Redding sing in a rather upbeat way, "I have to sing this sad song. To get back to her. And I'm   
gonna sing this song to you. And I want you..."   
  
"First off," Rory points to the radio, "he's singing pretty humpy-jumpy for being so pitiful. But that's beside the point."  
  
"Why am I not..."  
  
"Hush," Rory reprimanded. How can I make this man a little happier than before I arrived?   
  
"You're a wonderful guy, Luke, and if she is so completely blind and ridiculously stupid to not see that then it's not   
worth the margarita consumption." Rory disregards the very odd look Luke is giving her. "I, for one, think she deserves   
a swift kick to the head."  
  
"You wish that upon y..."  
  
"Yes sir, I do! I'll even offer my own feet, sporting new cleats if need be, to do the job."  
  
Luke scoffs, "I don't think that will be necessary, but thanks."   
  
Luke gives her that weird look again. Rory just thinks he's being "Luke-on-twelve-hundred-margaritas."  
  
"Do you love her?"  
  
"What?! Oh gezz, Rory, I..."  
  
"I know you're Mister Anti-Personal, but you can tell me. You look like you need to vent a little."  
  
Luke just looked at her, his eyelids growing heavier by the moment. What if I just say it. What if I tell Rory   
that I love her mother. Well, I'd say "maybe," because that's too much to tell her own daughter before you even   
tell her and I don't even know if that's what it is. Maybe I'm just lonely. Maybe she just can't help being perfect.   
Oh who cares?! I'm drunk! I could always use that as an excuse if this comes back to bite me in the ass.  
  
"I wasn't given the time to... but... I think I might."   
  
There. It was out. He gave room for possibility and it even extended past his inner torment. A part of him contemplates   
the possible good-side to this declaration. Good-side? He must *really* be drunk. He thinks of how if Rory does in fact   
"let this slip" to Lorelai, maybe, just maybe, she might realize she feels the same way. Or maybe this will just make   
Max really, really mad and that's always a good thing, Luke says to himself.  
  
Rory smiles. "Then go after her. Women are helpless when it comes to a man that desperately loves them. Especially  
if they get so distraught that they turn to Jimmy Buffet."  
  
"You... you really think I should do something about it?"  
  
"Yes! Do it! Go after Rachel. Win back her heart - be the knight in shining armor I know you are deep down inside."   
Rory realizes her mistake in mentioning "her." She waits for Luke's reaction, hoping her efforts weren't knocked down a   
few points.  
  
Rachel? Rachel... Sigh.  
  
Luke hangs his head and feels like slamming that indestructible glass again but has no strength left whatsoever. He looks   
up at Rory.  
  
"Thank you, Rory. I appreciate the company."  
  
"So... you're going to think about it, right?"  
  
"Right now, my brain couldn't withstand anymore thinking, but I'll... I'll be ok. Don't worry about me."  
  
Rory narrows her eyes looking for reassurance.  
  
"I'll be fine, I swear! You should get back to your mom. I'm sure she isn't done with her gushy conversation."  
  
"You know us all too well, Luke. And you say that *we* scare *you*."  
  
Luke let's out an "umm-y" grunt and waves at her to get going. Rory stands up and places her hand on his shoulder   
and decides for the unsuspecting display of sincere affection. She places a quick kiss on Luke's cheek.   
  
"Don't give up on the future, Luke. You really *are* a very deserving, extraordinary guy. Goodnight."  
  
And with that Rory heads back home. Luke leaves the mess for tomorrow morning. He's sure he won't get much   
sleep and he'll be down early to get things in order. Before he gets up from the table he turns off the radio, cutting off   
Billy Joel singing "Angry Young Man."  
  
"Music really does suck."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Fini.   
  
Thank you for taking the time to read my first cosmic experience into Gilmore Girls fanfiction! 


	2. A Fascinating Display of Architecture

  
TITLE: "A Fascinating Display of Architecture," Part Two of Cornerstones of Confusion  
AUTHOR: Barb  
RATING: PG - some minor language, again. Pardon my francais. And this time - some sexual innuendo, baby!  
SPOILERS: More for the finale episode. Also - for the story that came before this, duh.  
SUMMARY: Rory comes back from talking with Luke and finds her mother in a talkative mood. Does that surprise anybody? Mother/daughter chattiness commences and Lorelai grows an affinity for a piece of wood. Believe me, it will all make sense in a little while.   
FEEDBACK: brenna_mairi@yahoo.com - use it, come on! I know you're just that crazy to talk to me.   
DISCLAIMER: These characters are not mine. They belong to television bigwigs and the creative powers that be. Just get over it, Barb, and get a hold of yourself!  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I want to take this moment to give credit where credit is due. In this story - I was inspired myself by a friend of mine. My friend, Kate S, said this line in an email she wrote to me and I decided it was too good not to steal. "That sentence was very structurally fragile. Please don't poke it. It might fall over." Do you blame me? Also - mucho, mucho gratitude to my friend, Laura, for her guidance and encouragement! You da best!  
  
Enjoy!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
My daughter left me.   
  
My young offspring to whom I gave life and continue to breathe life into each and everyday, walked out of the door and left me with these crummy brownie crumbs.   
  
I've been sitting here playing rummy for approximately 40 minutes or so because I need to keep my mind operating in a way that doesn't allow for extraneous thought.  
  
It's pretty hard, you know - playing a four person game of rummy all by your lonesome. With my memory it makes it easy to "independently" think for each separate player. I'm sure that if anyone ever found out about this I would be thrown into a strait jacket for having multiple personalities.   
  
Hum, look at that empty plate that once held some exhilarating brownies. Might as well lick it clean. No Emily in sight to scold me and swat my head.  
  
Yum. Not bad. I should do the "responsible adult" thing and put this dish in the washer.   
  
La de da de do. Rinse off. Put in washer. Wait 4 or 5 days until I remember to turn this thing on. Good. Done.  
  
You know? When I think, it's less funny then when I speak. That's probably why I talk all the time - I can't stand the sound of my thoughts.  
  
"Where is my life force?!"  
  
Arg.   
  
If Rory's not here then I'm not talking and if I'm not talking then I'm thinking and if I'm thinking then I'll tell myself that I should call Max and if I call Max then I won't think that's enough and I'll want to see his face while talking to him because there's less enjoyment talking to a hard plastic stick-thingy than to an actual human being and I'll invite him over or go over to his place and push comes to shove I'm back to not talking again and not talking is bad.  
  
That sentence was very structurally fragile. Please don't poke it. It might fall over.  
  
Damn. I need to take a breath. Maybe Luke is right. Medical attention might be highly appropriate in my case.  
  
That's it! I'll call Luke! Bothering Luke is almost as thrilling as relishing a cup of his mighty fine java. Oh, who am I kidding? It's not even close. But - it would keep me talking! And that's a good thing!  
  
No. Look at the time, silly. It's past ten already; he won't be at The Coffee Shop. Do I have his home phone number? I must have - he's on Rory's emergency contact list for school. I must have weaseled it out of him. I'm so good at that. I should get a medal.  
  
Forget it. It's been almost an hour; Rory should be home soon.   
  
Right?  
  
Maybe I should have gone with her. Fresh air might be a good thing for an oxygen deprived person such as myself.  
  
Oh! Oh - she's home. I see her coming up the driveway. Quick. Have to do something ridiculous so she'll want to stay up and talk to me instead of hitting the sack.   
  
Phone. Grab phone. HahaHA... I'll frighten her into hilarious bouts of laughter.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Rory sees her house and stands for a moment in the street. She wonders about what her life has been like in that house. That beautiful, normal looking house that deceives the world about what exactly it contains.   
  
Two young women, completely and utterly insane.  
  
She then thinks about how she can't avoid the changes that are about to take place. This house will feel different. Someday. She knows it eventually has to happen. Her mom will get married. They'll be three people in this house. Maybe it won't even be this house. That's an unsettling thought for Rory.  
  
As she walks up the driveway she makes the conscious choice to push away those thoughts. Their time will come. For now, she's content to think solely about Dean. "Content" is not a strong enough word.  
  
Dean. The mere thought elicits a sigh.  
  
She does one more twirl just for the heck of it before she gets to her door. Rory enters her house with a smile, but that swiftly changes as she hears her mother's voice float around the corner from the living room.  
  
"Oh Max! Max you shouldn't say such things, you're being a very naughty boy. What am *I* wearing?! Well I'll..."  
  
"MOM!!"  
  
"RORY!"   
  
Lorelai is huddled up on the couch with a blanket over her. She looks at her daughter using her "oh-my-God-I'm-stunned-beyond-belief" look.  
  
Rory just stands there, mouth open wide and eyes open wider.  
  
Lorelai clears her throat and plasters on her award-winning smile.   
  
"Um... hey, how was your walk?"  
  
Still unable to speak or move, Rory continues to stare. This surprises Lorelai. She thought she'd be at the top of the stairs, possibly slamming her bedroom door, maybe even jumping out of the window by now.  
  
She gets up and takes advantage of her scared silly youngling. "Why don't you say hi to Max? He's actually been dying to talk to you lately..."  
  
"Good God Mom, NO!" This gets things moving as Rory backs off and changes her eyes from "open wider" to "let's stop that before your eyeballs have nothing left to hold them in and they just roll onto the floor."  
  
"Oh come on! Maybe you can even call him "daddy" and scare the living crap out of him! It'll be fun!"  
  
"Are you serious?!"  
  
"Am I ever?!"  
  
And before Rory can escape her mother's clutches, Lorelai shoves the phone up to her ear so she could hear the static.  
  
"He's not there."  
  
"Of course he's not, silly! What you must think of me that you would actually *believe* I would do such a stupid thing!"  
  
"Do you want me to list the ways with which you make it very possible you would be that crazy?"  
  
"Well. No. But..." There's that "I want to thank the Academy" smile again, but this time it's brought about by actual giddiness, not mock horror. "It's just my truly original way to make you stay up and talk with me."  
  
"*That* was supposed to get me to *want* to talk to you?"  
  
"Yep. Did it work?"  
  
"Sure. But only because I received about 78% of your 'crazy genes.'"  
  
"Good enough for me."  
  
The pair take a seat on the couch and Lorelai throws the phone on the table.   
  
"So. How was your walk?"  
  
"Walk was good."  
  
"Walk was good? Good."  
  
"How was sitting here?"  
  
"Sitting was good."  
  
"Good."  
  
"I'm lying. It sucked. You left me all alone!" Lorelai ended that sentence with a drawn out moan, quite irritating if you ask me - or Rory.  
  
"But you said you *wanted* to stay."  
  
"I know. I know, but now was completely not the time to leave me to my thoughts."  
  
"How was I supposed to know that?"  
  
"Because you came from my womb! You should have that already established 'daughter's sixth sense' thing."  
  
"Mom. I don't see dead people."  
  
"Well that's a relief."  
  
"I *do* see hazy-eyed drunk men after nine o'clock at The Coffee Shop, though."  
  
"What? You talked to a drunk man? Do I teach you anything?"  
  
"Let me clarify that. First off, I said I 'saw' a drunk man, not 'talked to' a drunk man. Don't jump to conclusions. And second, I should have said, 'I see hazy-eyed drunk Lukes after nine o'clock at The Coffee Shop."  
  
"Luke?! So you *saw* that Luke was drunk?"  
  
"Actually, I talked to Luke, who was drunk."  
  
"But you said..."  
  
"I know. That still doesn't mean you should jump to conclusions."  
  
"Alright. Alright. So what happened? What's wrong?" Lorelai leaned in closer to her daughter, grabbing her shoulder and piercing her with worried eyes.  
  
"Nothing a hangover won't cure tomorrow I'm sure."  
  
"Not physically, emotionally. Why was he so upset?"  
  
"Oh Mom, upset is too nice of a word..." Rory paused for effect. "He was drinking margaritas."  
  
*GASP* Lorelai was shocked. Obviously.  
  
"That's not manly!"  
  
"I know!"  
  
"Was he also wearing a skirt?"  
  
"Woah, Mom. How did you know?"  
  
Lorelai's eyes bugged out. "Wh-huh?!"  
  
Rory shakes her head in shame.   
  
"Oh you... you... just get to the point."  
  
"Well I don't know how much I should tell you. I mean, it was kind of personal... "  
  
"And how would that be an obstacle when it comes to me getting information?"  
  
"Alright. I did most of the talking anyway. He mostly just grunted. And stuttered."  
  
"Does alcohol have *any* effect on this man," Lorelai asked herself.  
  
"I think he was upset over Rachel leaving."  
  
"Oh. Wow. Really?"  
  
"Yeah. He said he thinks he might love her."  
  
"Love her?"   
  
Lorelai sits back all of a sudden and gets this "huh" face like when Rory told her that Gilligan's Island was indeed a huge flop when it first ran on primetime television and only in reruns did it gain any sort of popularity. This baffled Lorelai's mind. It was like her whole world turned inside out. Ok maybe that was a bad example - but it's the closest thing that compares to this face that she's making at this very moment while Rory looks at her, wondering.  
  
"Mom? You ok?"  
  
Lorelai then made one of her more unflattering faces, which are rare, and scrunched up her nose. "Of course. Where did that question come from?"  
  
"Well, you just started staring at the mantle like it was the most intriguing piece of architecture ever designed."  
  
Lorelai flung her hand about and waved off her daughter's insinuation that a certain revelation about a certain man who was just a friend would cause any sort of disturbance in the way she saw the world.  
  
"I'm just... surprised, that's all. I mean... Luke didn't seem that upset when he told me. He just came right out and said 'So Rachel left' like it was a normal conversation topic."   
  
"Did you *ask* him if he was ok about it?"  
  
"Well, no. But that was because things got a little hectic right then. Max came in and I had to... do you think I should go talk to him?"  
  
"Max?"  
  
"No - Luke."  
  
"If he felt weird talking to me do you honestly think he'd be all hunky-dory pouring his heart out to *you*?"  
  
"Good point. How did this discussion turn to Luke anyway?! I wanted to gush over Max!"  
  
"Sorry. It was my fault."  
  
"No, no. So he was really torn up, huh?"  
  
"Yeah. I've never seen him so down and depressed and that's a lot to say for a man who hates Christmas and gets miffed when anything cheerful comes within ten feet of him."  
  
"Couldn't have said it better myself."  
  
"So - tell me more about Max? Any feelings and/or thoughts change since I left?"  
  
"Actually - I tried very hard to shut out any and all thoughts while you were gone. Didn't want to spoil them on myself. But - It's late anyway. We should get to bed."   
  
"Ok." Rory was about to get up and saw that her mother wasn't doing the same. Lorelai sat there staring at the mantle again.  
  
"Are you sure you're ok?"  
  
"What? Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be up in a minute."  
  
"Ok. Oh and Mom?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Please promise me you won't breathe a word of this to Luke. Not like he'll remember anything we talked about or that I was even there... or that *he* was even there but..."  
  
"Alright! Alright - I understand. No words shall be speaketh out of meeth about margaritas or loneliness, happy?"  
  
"Not entirely. I know you - you might try to skirt around those rules and 'help Luke out' by being extra nice to him or asking 'nonchalantly' about how he's feeling..."  
  
"Hey, can I help it if I'm an extraordinarily caring person?"  
  
"You can help keep my trust and respect if you just let this remain between us."  
  
"Alright. You win. I won't even look at him for the next three days."  
  
"Alright. Oh and I allot you 45 minutes tomorrow tonight to gush all you want - we'll take the phones off the hook, lock the doors, and post guard dogs at all corners of the house. Sound good?"  
  
"Sounds great, sweetie." She looks up at Rory and gives her a quick smile. "G'night."  
  
"Night." Rory bends down and kisses her mom before she heads upstairs. She takes one last look at Lorelai, who is taking a deep breath and letting her head fall slightly to one side.  
  
Lorelai doesn't realize she's looking at the mantle. Again.  
  
Why am I so worried about Luke? What is this? I should just snap out of this whacked place I'm in right now and realize that he's going to be fine and that I'm going to be fine because - guess what - I have a man that loves me.   
  
Max is wonderful. Max is beyond wonderful - he's as close to perfect as any gal can get and I got it.   
  
She then gets up clean up some of the mess she left in the kitchen. On her way there she spots Bert.  
  
"Hey Bert!" She pats his cute metal head.  
  
Luke infuriates me. I mean, Bert's cute and all, but let's try to keep your head on straight, Lukey. I'll have to remember to get that back to him... before there are anymore flagrant displays of cave-man tendencies.  
  
Lorelai begins to wash some dishes and put things back in the refridgerator.  
  
What the hell was that all about, anyways? When did Luke start getting all protective on my ass? Maybe that's not the best choice of words...I know he thinks highly of Rory and me, but seriously - that was a bit much. Getting Dean into a headlock - now *that* was uncalled for as well, but very, very hilarious. And adorable, in a weird, twisted, Luke-ish way. Thumping his chest and throwing the evil eye towards my possibly-in-the-near-future-fiance is a whole other story.  
  
One I'm very curious to hear, but one I feel should be left alone. At least for now.  
  
And what was with that "I'll always be around" Terminator threat? He's probably just taking on the roll of "big, burly, 'I'll-kick-your-ass,' brother." Yeah. That's it. Of course that's *it* - why am I saying probably?   
  
And why the HELL am I not thinking about Max right now?!  
  
I need sleep. Need as in "I NEED coffee." It's that imperative.  
  
Lorelai heads upstairs to go to bed.   
  
She dreams of Max trying to run Luke over with his car, but Luke just stops it with his hand, "Superman-style." Lorelai runs out in the street to yell at Max. She wanders up to the car and is shocked to discover Max wearing some very Stevie Wonder-esque sunglasses. She instinctively realizes that Max is blind and didn't see Luke standing there. There's also a purple iguana in the back seat of his car. She has no idea why it's there, so don't ask. Luke walks away from the scene, looking back at Lorelai with a glass of margarita in his hand. Lorelai smiles and doesn't know why.   
  
Next thing she knows, she's in a roller coaster with Rory and they're screaming at the top of their lungs. They're in the front seat and Lorelai notices that the coaster is designed to be a ridiculously laughable purple iguana.   
  
Needless to say, Lorelai had a lot of early morning conversation for Rory to try to decipher.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Finito!  
  
Feedback is a highly pleasurably experience - I recommend it for all. Again - utmost thank yous for taking the time to read my story and maybe, just maybe - liking it!   



	3. The Precise Science of Breaking One's He...

TITLE: "The Precise Science of Breaking One's Heart," Part Three of Cornerstones of Confusion   
AUTHOR: Barb  
RATING: PG - Typical crudeness from Barb. Which means - nearly squeaky clean.  
SPOILERS: Since this is "Part Three," I think you can deduct that Part One and Two are pretty important pre-readings to this story.   
SUMMARY: It would seem that breaking a heart is a complicated, messy task - but as Luke finds out, it's incredibly simple.  
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Do not get anything from the huge time-consuming effort it takes to write these stories - except pure and utter happiness. {g}  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Immense gratitude to my friend, Laura, who provided an enormous amount of help with the "scientific analysis" parts of this story. Her creativity and guidance are truly appreciated in making this story so much better! :^)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
What exactly goes into the precise science of breaking someone's heart? Let's discover this, shall we?  
  
Research: One must first go through the process of falling in love with an unattainable woman and stand by idly, keeping feelings to one's self. Make sure to keep detailed log of feelings of self-doubt, self-hatred, and intense emotional longing.  
  
Lorelai arose to start the day just like any other - with loud noises and drowsy confusion.  
  
Rory gracefully tripped and tumbled forward at the top of the stairs, but landed a little less gracefully against the wall, causing her to shout in pain.  
  
Lorelai shot her head up and looked back and forth about four times. "Ah! Wha... Rory?! Rory are you alright?!"  
  
"Yes Mom." Rory was rubbing her shoulder. "I just tripped and ran into the wall. I'm ok."  
  
Lorelai was now in the hallway, examining her daughter with droopy eyes. "Are you sure? It sounded pretty bad and I was only half conscious so..."  
  
"I'm sure. I'm fine. Sorry for waking you." Rory looked at her mom with an apologetic smile.  
  
"Oh pish-posh. I should get my lazy ass out of bed anyway." Rory's mom gives her an inquisitive look. "You know, you're not usually clumsy. May I ask... was there a particular reason you forgot you had feet for a period of time?"  
  
"Well..." Rory gets flustered and hates to admit her lapse in control. "My mind was elsewhere, and I guess my feet just followed."   
  
"Hey, losing your feet is better than losing your sanity while sleeping. I have some major 'Passions' episodes that made their way into my dreams last night. Once I get dressed, you're using your powers to piece them all together, as well as to get that little doll-boy to shut up."  
  
Lorelai heads for the bathroom.  
  
"Gotcha. Hey - I have a surprise for you. Take a shower and come downstairs."  
  
"You do?! Surprise for me? 'Surprise' is one of the best words in the English language."  
  
"I know you feel that way. That's why, in celebration of our recent romantic developments, I made a three-course breakfast for us to devour while dissecting your subconscious." Rory stood proud and gave her mother a stunning smile.  
  
"Awwww... you slaved all morning reading books and talking to chefs to make sure that you would make a delectable meal?"  
  
"Well, not exactly. I just rushed over to Luke's to get chocolate chip pancakes, extra crispy bacon, and a total of 40 steaming ounces of coffee. I did make some toast, though!"  
  
"And I'm sure that will be the best part of it..."  
  
"It's the thought that counts."  
  
"Yes. It is. And thank you, sweetheart - I'll be right down."  
  
Rory cheerfully shook her head and, more carefully than usual, skipped down the stairs.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Luke arose to start the day just like any other - with a massive hangover.  
  
Ok. So it wasn't just like any other.  
  
I need coffee. Lots of coffee. Look what this woman has done to me.  
  
Luke fumbled out of bed to make some coffee and a few pieces of toast. He took a handful of Tylenol to try and get rid of the pounding in his head. Last night's events came back to him pretty clearly and by the size of his headache, he was surprised he remembered as much.  
  
No harm was done. Rory thought all along that I was upset over Rachel. And by now, I'm sure Lorelai thinks the same. She'll probably slyly ask if I'm alright today, or attempt to lay on the charm pretty thick just to 'brighten my day.' But now she thinks that Rachel means more to me than the really does, and well... I guess a little harm *was* done.  
  
While Luke sat eating his toast and smelling the coffee that sat in front of him, he wished he knew just when this got so complicated for him.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Hypothesis: If one man keeps silent about his feelings for one woman long enough, another man will surely come along and take the opportunity himself. Therefore, the first man will be left alone to wonder when he became so incredibly stupid.  
  
"Mom. What exactly did you put in those brownies last night?" Rory sat across from her mother, a piece of pancake an inch from her mouth, which was hung open in bizarre awe.  
  
"Didn't I tell you those dreams were weird. I should send my screenplay to the creative masterminds at 'Passions,' I'm telling you."  
  
"No. What you need to do is start laying off the crack before bedtime."  
  
"Look who's talking, Miss Floppy Feet."  
  
"So we're a little off lately. We deserve a few days in complete bliss, wouldn't you say?"  
  
"Maybe *you* deserve a few days of bliss. I, on the other hand, am stuck with a few days of being dazed."  
  
"I thought you were giddy with excitement, Mom. Is the proposal getting to you - are you having second thoughts?"  
  
"Well. It's not like I had any first thoughts. I don't think all of these thoughts had any order when they decided to come into my head and make me into a mad woman."  
  
"You were ma..."  
  
"Shhhhh... Stop right there. I could use a break in the 'picking-on-Lorelai' category right now."  
  
"Agreed. I'm sorry."  
  
"Apology accepted."  
  
"This is a serious step you have to take. A big decision you to make, Mom. So I'm sure Max understands if you take your time. And me - well, I want you to know that whatever you choose, you know I'm going to be happy for you."  
  
"Really?" Lorelai looks at her daughter, questioning her sincerity. She worries more than anything about how Rory would take this. Whatever "this" is.   
  
"Yes."  
  
"But will you be happy for *yourself*?"  
  
"I like Max. I don't think either one of us expects me to start calling him 'Daddy' and throwing my arms around him when he gets home each night. But we'll grow and learn from each other. I wouldn't worry about me, Mom. Ok?"  
  
*Sigh* "Ok. I'll take that. For now."  
  
Rory looks into her mug. "Who would have guessed that 40 ounces of coffee could be ingested *that* fast?"  
  
"I could! I could!"  
  
Rory laughs at her super-caffeinated mother. "Why don't we go get more?! I'm sure Luke is wondering what's taking us so long. He asked me if I was sure we only needed 40 ounces. I should have listened to the man."  
  
Lorelai feels a sudden urgency to do laundry. "Nah. We don't need it *that* badly. What I need to do is some laundry." Lorelai gets up and starts putting the dishes away.  
  
Rory gets up as well, following her mom. "You did laundry two days ago!"  
  
"Well then there's two days worth that needs to be washed!"  
  
"Why don't you want to go to Luke's?"  
  
Lorelai flinches at his name and makes a weird face at herself for doing that. "I never said I don't want to go to Luke's."  
  
"That's what you implied with your sudden fancy to do laundry."  
  
"I implied nothing of the sort. I would love to go to Luke's! Luke's is a wonderful, terrific place to be! I just don't feel the need for more coffee right now."  
  
"That is *the* most insane thing I've ever heard you say. And you know that's saying a lot."  
  
"Oh if it will make you happy, we'll go in about an hour. Ok? I'll just get a few things done here and we'll go. We'll go so I can show you I have no aversion to Luke's at the moment. Alright?"  
  
"You can have an aversion to Luke's at the moment. You can also tell me why you have that aversion."  
  
"There is no aversion to tell you of."  
  
Rory throws her hands up. "Alright. No more pushing. I give. I just have never seen you turn down Luke's coffee. Even after 24 ounces."  
  
"I think it was about 26. I finished your last cup."  
  
"Even better. Speaking of Luke, though..."  
  
"You know - why must we be speaking of Luke?"  
  
"I just thought... I wanted to know when you were thinking about telling him."  
  
Lorelai stops dead in her tracks, mid-throw putting clothes into the washer. "I don't know."  
  
"I'm sure he'd be really excited, well not excited, I don't think I've ever seen Luke excited. Well, maybe when he took down that one decoration he was forced to put up for..."  
  
"He won't be excited. I get it. I don't think he'd even be happy."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Well, I would hope he'd be happy. We are good friends and all, and I would feel the same if he was in my situation. But..." Lorelai thinks quickly about what she just said. Would she feel the same? Would she be happy? Why the hell is she doubting herself here? This is beginning to freak her out a little...  
  
"He'd be happy. As happy as Luke can get, I'm sure."  
  
"I don't know. He was pretty 'grunty' about Max the other day. I'm under the impression he's going to be an oaf about this."  
  
"An oaf? And how do oafs act when they hear of wedding proposals?"  
  
"Oafish."  
  
"Oafish. Ok. I just wanted that clarified and I think you did a wonderful job."  
  
"He won't approve. Just like he didn't approve of Dean. He'll get that gleam in his eye like he wants to do a little smackdown on Max's ass, I just know it."   
  
"You gonna tell him today?"  
  
"I don't know! Maybe I should just wait until I've come up with an answer."  
  
"That's reasonable."  
  
"Why have all this chatter around town if there is no definite chatter to be had."  
  
"Good plan. But - you will be telling Sookie, right?"  
  
"Well, of course."  
  
"The whole town's gonna know by tomorrow then."  
  
"No it will not."  
  
"Alright. If that's how misguided you want to be."  
  
"I am not misguided."  
  
"Ok, then. Delusional."  
  
"Ok - maybe delusional. You think I should tell him, then?"  
  
"You don't want him to hear the news from Miss Patty, do you?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then tell him today. Tell him now. Tell him as soon as you can. I wouldn't be surprised if Miss Patty knew about the proposal before even *you* knew about the proposal."  
  
"Ha - why does that scare me so much?"  
  
"Because it's true."  
  
"Ahhhhhhh."  
  
"I'll let you finish your, umm, important task of washing three shirts and two pairs of pants."  
  
"Thanks. That would be very much appreciated. We'll leave in a while, ok?"  
  
"Ok." Rory heads upstairs. Five seconds later, Lorelai hears a loud thud and an "ahhhhh!" and can't contain a snort of laughter before shouting up to her daughter, "They're connected to the bottom of your legs, watch out for them!"  
  
"I'm fine, thanks for asking!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Materials: One cup of coffee and a little bit of witty banter. Denial and cowardice also highly recommended tools.  
  
One hour later, the Gilmore girls waltz into The Coffee Shop, smiles beaming and wittiness rearing and ready to shoot. At least, that's what it looked like on the outside. Inside, Lorelai was churning with something intangible. She could always find words for something. Even completely gibberish words void of any meaning within the English language. Or any language known on this planet, for that matter. But right now - her insides were speechless.  
  
They sit at their usual spot. Rory looks at her mother and smiles. "Not bad, right? You can smell the coffee down the street. Ummm..."  
  
"Ummm..." Lorelai repeats and attempts to duplicate her daughter's contentment, but she can seem to find any comfort in this chair right now. Needs more padding, she thinks.  
  
"You ok, Mom?"  
  
"Yeah. Of course - hit me with the java!"  
  
"Is that all you want me to hit you with?" Luke's voice hits her like a ton of bricks and she jumps almost entirely out of her seat, flailing her arms about, and almost knocking Luke's pad and pen out of his hands.  
  
"Oh. Hey! Luke! Master of Surprise, today, huh?!"  
  
"I'm trying a new identity every day this week. Stop by tomorrow when I'll be Master of Deception. Nothing I cook will be as it seems."  
  
Rory laughs and looks at Luke as he shyly smiles back at her. She then catches a glimpse of recognition that says, "Hey, didn't you see me drunk last night and didn't I tell you things I really wish I hadn't told you?!" She smiles back at him, hoping to reassure him it's ok.  
  
Lorelai tries to gather some composure. She shakes her head and looks back up at Luke, who's eyeing her in between glances at his notepad. He looked a little more flustered than usual, but she guessed it was due to the inane about of alcohol he consumed last night.   
  
"Coffee's it for us. Your food was great, by the way. Thanks for supporting two disaster areas when it comes to cooking. I don't know where we'd be without you."  
  
"Starving. And much, much more calm." Luke walks away to get the coffee.  
  
You got that right, Lorelai says to herself. Serenity is something far, far away when I'm around you lately.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Luke goes to the counter with a sense of minor relief.   
  
This is good. Banter is good. I'm actually proud of myself. No cold shoulder. No bitterness. I was even a little humorous. And, as a major plus, I scared her. I love it when I scare her.  
  
Luke smiles to himself as he pours the coffee. He may not have her in his life as much as he'd like to have her in his life, but what he has is the coffee. And that means the world to her. Therefore, in some sick, twisted way *he* means the world to her. Ok, maybe not. It's a stretch, but he'll take what he can get.   
  
He takes the two cups, both filled to the fullest, and walks toward the two ladies that come in and out of his life almost every single day. He even manages to let the corners of his mouth curl up into what he's been told looks like a smile.   
  
That smile fades almost immediately once he approaches them. Darn. I knew it was too good to be true.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Procedure:   
  
Step 1: Start by utilizing swift word play to cause misdirection. One must be eager to avoid any truth-telling moments that would divulge actual feelings toward object of affection.  
  
When Luke walks away from the table to get coffee, Rory leans over and whispers, "Looks like he's in a pretty good mood. Maybe now would be a good time to tell him."  
  
"Don't you think I'm thinking that right now?!"  
  
"Just wanted to make sure you were aware."  
  
"I am aware. I am very aware of what I should do, thank you very much."  
  
"Ok."  
  
And the whining sets in. "Can't I just wait until tomorrow? He won't find out within 24 hours."  
  
"Mom? Are you... hey, maybe you're right." Rory then turns a bit to look out of the window. "Wait... is that...? I think I see Miss Patty coming over here with a big banner that says 'Congratulations Lorelai on the Marriage Proposal!'"  
  
"What?!" Lorelai idiotically worries and cranes her neck to look around. "You horrible, mean, grounded little child."  
  
"I am not grounded."  
  
"Ok. You're not. But you almost gave me a hernia just then. I get your point, though. I'll tell Luke. Thanks for the subtle show of support."  
  
"Anytime."  
  
They see Luke walk toward them, looking somewhat cheerful. Lorelai tells Rory to 'shush' and then proceeds to, unbeknownst to her, break a man's heart.  
  
"Luke, can we talk?"  
  
Luke sets the coffee down and looks at Lorelai. "Why? Didn't I scare you enough for one day?"  
  
"Yes. That's why I need to repay the favor."  
  
She's going to scare me? Oh what the hell... do I need to hear this?  
  
After standing there for a few dozen seconds, Luke blinks his eyes and says, "I'm here. Speak."  
  
"Well..." She looks at Rory. "Let's... let's go for a walk. Can we do that?" She looks at Luke, who seems to be starting his "I'm-Annoyed-I-Don't-Have-The-Time-For-This" routine.  
  
"Is it really that important that you can't say it right now this very second?"  
  
"Yes. Yes it most certainly is. Please?" She gets up and decides to go for force. "Rory will wait here for me, right sweetie?" Rory nods and smiles. "And you - you'll come with me. I'll even bring my coffee so it doesn't get cold." She grabs his arm and pulls him toward the door. "Hey! Everyone - Luke will be out for a few minutes. Don't freak - talk to Jim - he's capable. Most of the time. Thanks."   
  
Ignoring all of Luke's "uhh's" and "umm's" and "gruntgrunt's," Lorelai gets him outside.  
  
Step 2: Attempt walking and talking at the same time. Presenting a front of stability is necessary to quell any nervousness that would undermine the mission.  
  
"Lorelai..."  
  
A shiver runs down her spine. She shakes slightly, then makes another weird face at herself.  
  
Luke stops what he was about to say and notices her reaction. "It's not cold out here. What's your problem?"  
  
"Honestly? I have no clue."  
  
"So what did you want to talk to me about?" Luke plays his annoyance card, but is nothing but curious and attentive underneath.   
  
What could this possibly be about? How about Max and her aren't seeing each other anymore? No. She wouldn't be in the coffee shop if that's the case. Maybe she... no. Maybe Rory told her what happened and now she's going to ask me about it. Try to get "the truth" out. Maybe Max asked her to... *gulp*. Shut up, Luke. Oh dear God. I'm having a conversation with myself in my head. I'm one step away from the Lorelai Gilmore Institute of Insanity.  
  
Lorelai's voice wakes him from his one-sided conversation. "Talking must first involve walking."  
  
"That's not a predetermined state of physics or... whatever science that involves."  
  
"It's the science of 'walking and talking' which involves both actions."  
  
*Sigh* "Alright."  
  
Lorelai and Luke begin to walk down the street. They steal glances at each other, wondering what the other is thinking. Not being mind readers, this was a fruitless activity.  
  
Lorelai tests the waters. "So Luke - how is your day going so far?"  
  
"Lorelai! You obviously have things to say. What you deem as 'very important' things. I know you are, for some reason, nervous or worried or something, but just get to the point and come out and say it. We don't need to play these word games right now."  
  
Ok, so the water's a little rocky.  
  
"If you're going to be that way, fine. I wanted to work up to this and think about ... oh to hell with it. Max asked me to marry him! There!"  
  
Lorelai and Luke stop. She faces him in one big huff, exasperated with his persistence in ruining the whole flow of this conversation. This conversation that's inexplicably turning into what sounds like an argument, Lorelai thinks. Why do we always go around like this? Why can't we have a normal conversation like two friends are supposed to have at least once in a decade?!  
  
"Max asked you to marry him?"  
  
"No he asked Rory, but when she declined he went for the older, more mature Gilmore."  
  
"When did he propose?"  
  
"Two nights ago."   
  
"Oh." Luke lets out a long-held breath. They stand there staring at each other for what Lorelai estimates to be approximately 34 seconds. Luke estimates the time to be approximately... an eternity.  
  
"Luke? Are you going to reanimate yourself any time soon?"   
  
Step 3: Defy the tiny voice in the back of your mind telling you to act before it's too late. Instead, opt to create a false front of happiness that completely conceals your true emotions. Escape the situation before things fall apart and you inevitably slip and give yourself away.  
  
He blinks his eyes, ignores the huge pit in his stomach that's filling up with something very uncomfortable, and he musters a smile. An actual smile.  
  
"Congratulations Lorelai." He then leans in and hugs her, feeling his weight carry him forward.  
  
Lorelai is stunned into silence.   
  
For about 10 seconds.  
  
"Uh. Thank you. Luke." She gives him a squeeze as she wraps her arms around him a little more.   
  
Thank goodness neither one of them could see the other's face. Or maybe that's a bad thing. You see, because Lorelai looked as confused as she ever had before and Luke... well Luke looked something entirely different. He looked sure of himself and not only that - but very, very scared.  
  
Luke pulls away, making sure his smile reappears. "So... you said 'yes,' right?"  
  
"Well. No. Not yet. I told Max I would have to think about it. I mean - this is a huge decision that affects not only me, but more importantly - Rory."   
  
She's not the only one it affects, Lorelai, Luke thinks. But how could I blame you when I'm the asshole with my mouth shut?  
  
"I have to put a lot of thought into this before I go about changing our entire lives."   
  
Luke looks her in the eye. Too late.  
  
Lorelai lets out a deep sigh as if feeling the weight of the situation all over again.  
  
"I'm sure Max would wait a lifetime for you, Lorelai. He'd be an idiot not to."  
  
She shudders again at the sound of her name, but this time she's the only one that notices. She also notices the lack of a smile on Luke's face. Not that that's anything unusual, she thinks. She looks at him more intently and smiles at his endearing statement.  
  
"You know, Luke? I've known you forever, yet you still surprise me."  
  
"You haven't known me forever."  
  
"Well, our penchant for biting, non-stop verbal aggression makes it *seem* like I've known you forever."  
  
"Speaking of verbal aggression, maybe now that you've found someone to spend the rest of your life with, you won't come around to me and whine about how 'When Harry Met Sally' is no fun to watch alone."  
  
"It's a romantic comedy, Luke! Probably the very best ever made, and romantic comedies are meant to be seen by two people filled with *romance*. I would think that would make a world of sense, even for someone like you."  
  
"Well how about two people who are just filled with *comedy* - isn't that equally important in the 'romantic comedy' mix?"  
  
Lorelai just laughs.   
  
Luke stares at her. "What's so funny?"  
  
Lorelai takes a deep breath. "Nothing. I just love our..." She doesn't finish her sentence. She didn't quite know how to put it.  
  
"You just love our... what?"  
  
"Our conversations are ones for the book, wouldn't you say?"  
  
Luke smiles at her. He decides to not let this moment get to him and what he wants to do.   
  
"Lorelai. I want you to know that I couldn't be happier for you. You deserve everything Max has to offer."  
  
"I'm surprised you think he *has* anything to offer, what with your previous display of..."  
  
"I know. I know. I was just... you know...protective, I guess. You know I'd kill him if he ended up hurting you."  
  
"Or at least get him in a headlock."  
  
Luke laughs. "At the *very* least."  
  
The pair look at each other.   
  
Luke breaks the deafening silence. "I should really be getting back."  
  
"Oh. Sure."  
  
"Are you going to meet Rory?"  
  
"Yeah. Rory. Actually, I want to sit here for a minute. Can you tell her I'll be out here waiting for her?"  
  
"Sure." Luke looks at Lorelai's hands. "Do you... want me to take that for you?"  
  
Lorelai notices she still has his coffee mug. "Yes. I almost forgot, sorry. Coffee mugs tend to just be an extension of my actual flesh, so I can get easily confused."  
  
Luke doesn't comment on that, like Lorelai expects him too. Instead he just reaches for the mug, brushing his hand with hers in the process.   
  
Luke does this intentionally. He knows it's not like him to want such goofy things like the simple touch of her hand, but he doesn't care. He's sure she wouldn't even notice anyway.  
  
Lorelai notices. Oh boy, does she notice. Not only that, but she notices the way he's looking at their hands while he's reaching for the mug. She also notices the way she's looking at the way he's looking at their hands. He severely underestimates her heightened sensibilities at this moment.  
  
She feels the need to say something to him, but what comes out of her mouth isn't anywhere near what she really wants to say. What she wants to say is, "What the hell is wrong with you - why aren't you questioning my decision - why aren't you questioning Max - or how it will affect Rory - or... or how this will affect you?! Dammit - how will this affect our friendship, Luke?! Cause by the look in your eyes right now you're a million miles away."  
  
As Luke pulls the mug away slowly and begins to turn around, Lorelai mumbles, "I... I wanted to tell you myself. Even though I haven't made a definite decision yet. I didn't want you to find out from anyone but me."  
  
"Thanks."   
  
"Is that all? To be honest..."  
  
"To be honest... I'm happy for you, Lorelai. You deserve some happiness that doesn't come after drinking coffee. I'll go get Rory."  
  
With that Luke walked away and Lorelai watched him go until he was gone. She then sat on the ground and fell backward, covering her face with her hands.  
  
That was not Luke that just walked away. He smiled. He hugged me. All signs pointing to, "Hey Lorelai, you're my friend, I care about you and I wish you the best." Then he touched my hand... and it was... I don't know what it was. But it wasn't a "Hey I'm just being happy for my best friend" hand touch. That it most certainly was not.  
  
But maybe I'm just seeing things. Anyone who knows me could attest to my frequent hallucinations. This is all a manifestation of my warped, flustered mind at the moment.   
  
This could all be a leftover reaction from all of that heartache Luke was dealing with last night. It sounds like Rachel really got to him. She was probably on his mind the entire time I was telling him about my possible wedded bliss. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut! How could I be so stupid?! Ok, I know. It's not that hard - but to tell him my happy news when all he can think of right now is how the woman he loved got away. I feel horrible.  
  
"Uhhhhh...." Lorelai moans in emotional pain as Rory comes up beside her.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
Lorelai looks through her fingers up at her daughter.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
Rory sits next to her and Lorelai reluctantly pulls herself up to sit and look Rory in the eye. Rory looks unconvinced.  
  
"Ok. Everything. I feel like a complete loser for telling Luke about how I may very well spend the rest of my life with a wonderful man. He lost someone he loves and I have to go and rub it in that I found a love of my own - I'm a cold-hearted snake, Rory!"  
  
"Look into his eyes..."  
  
"Uh-oh. Good catch, Ms. Abdul."  
  
"Thanks. I thought that was quick thinking on my part."  
  
"I've done too much talking and much too much thinking in the span of twenty-four hours."  
  
"Let's go home and rest our skulls, then. I think there's a 90210 marathon on cable tonight!"  
  
"Yes! No thinking required whatsoever - perfect!"  
  
The two get up from the hard ground and head home. Lorelai wraps her arm around her kid, thankful there's always Rory to relieve her of complete madness that's due to an onslaught of confusion.   
  
Lorelai glances back at Luke's for a moment. I'll figure you out later, mister. That look in Luke's eyes before he walked away remained in Lorelai's conscious all night, despite the distraction of a certain Jason Priestly. In fact, it was the last thing she thought about before slipping away into a decent night's sleep.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Luke, on the other hand, had a very indecent night's sleep. Not in that way, silly. He tossed. He turned. He got up to walk around five times.  
  
His rational self told him that this wasn't the end of the world. That you never had her to begin with, so how could you have "lost" her? He told his rational self to "shut up and smell the coffee."  
  
Conclusion: My hypothesis was proven correct. I found throughout my experiences that breaking one's own heart is far too easy a task. It's a reaction that happens so quickly and so effortlessly that the event is already finished before the owner of the heart is even aware of the process in which he is taking part. I didn't stand a chance since the first day I met her.  
  



	4. The Good, The Bad, and the In Between

TITLE: "The Good, The Bad, and the In Between" Part Four of Cornerstones of Confusion   
AUTHOR: Barb  
  
Stars Hollow was shining.   
  
It was shining brightly because the sun was out and it was very, very bright. But for Lorelai Gilmore, Stars Hollow was shining because of something else. It was shining because of magic. The magic that comes along with being in love.  
  
The trees were greener. The sky was bluer. The birds were less annoying. Everything with the world was amplified to a better state of being.  
  
When did this world get so majestic and exuberant, you ask? Well…   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"I'm going to say yes."  
  
"You are?!"  
  
"Yes." Lorelai was beaming at her daughter.  
  
Rory smiled, but she doubted her own feelings. She didn't quite know what to say. She's been saying to herself and to her mother time and time again that she's ok with this. That her mom marrying Max was a good thing as long as it made her mother happy. I mean, they were both realistic about this - no matter who her mom marries or when she gets married, it's going to be a difficult transition for Rory. It just has to be one that they can deal with together. Rory's not sure if there will ever be the right person or the right time for this.  
  
Rory opens her mouth to say something along the lines of "that's great" or "this is so exciting," but ends up taking a deep breath and reverting back to her silent smile. Lorelai's own happy face falls when she gets the "I-have-no-idea-what-to-say-or-do" vibe from Rory.  
  
"Rory? Honey? If there's something you want to discuss with me, then you know I am more than willing to put all of this on hold and hear you out…"  
  
"I know. And, Mom, don't think I'm not happy, because I *am* happy… I'm…"  
  
"Let's not use words that don't accurately describe the situation, ok? You're not happy - that's *ok*. I really didn't expect you to be jumping off the walls anyway."  
  
"It's just…"  
  
"This is a *big* deal, I know. I'm making a decision that would essentially completely turn our lives upside down, but since when have we not welcomed a little adventure in our lives?"  
  
"Since the moment I realized that 'adventure' with you means partaking in extremely bizarre situations that rival even those of the Addams Family."  
  
They both laugh at this, enjoying the fact that they can make light of any sticky situation. A little balance is all it takes.  
  
"Max as Gomez sounds a little frightening, but very realistic."  
  
"Ewwwwww!" Lorelai squeals and makes a face. "Gomez always creeped me out with the arm kissing."  
  
They laugh and Lorelai gets a contemplative look on her face. "Luke would probably be Lurch."   
  
"What does Luke have to do with anything?" Rory asks, confused.   
  
"Um, nothing," Lorelai stumbles, frowning. "It just occurred to me that Luke would make a good Lurch, that's all. Can't you just see him scowling at everyone that enters? Not to mention - he'd win a blue ribbon in 'grunting' anyday."  
  
The girls laugh at the thought.   
  
Then, they sit for a few seconds in silence and let the seriousness seep into their systems again before starting up the conversation.  
  
"You are my *life,* Rory, and I will not go about changing you in ways you do not want to be changed."  
  
"I am going to say something and I want you to not say a word throughout the entire thing until I say it's ok."  
  
Lorelai nods, already putting the agreement into effect.  
  
"Ok. Mom - I love you."  
  
Lorelai smiles as if to say, "I love you, too, sweetie." She's an expert at communication - all kinds. And her facial expressions are taking an active part in this conversation.  
  
"You should never, at any time in your entire life, doubt how much you made me into the person that I am."   
  
Lorelai looks at her daughter, emoting the statement; "I could not be more pleased and proud to have a daughter like you."  
  
"So take this as some advice from one Lorelai to another - for once, just think about yourself."   
  
Lorelai gives a "huh?" look with her eyes.  
  
"Stop using me as an excuse to put on hold all of the things you want out of life. I'm strong - with you as a mother, how could I not be?"  
  
Lorelai makes a face that says, "Well, you have a point there…"  
  
"Here's some honesty for you - I don't know exactly *what* to think about you marrying Max. I don't know how it will be having him as a … well, a… something different than what he is now."  
  
Lorelai's mouth goes into a pout that reads, "Yeah. That will be kind of weird, won't it?"  
  
"It will probably be weird. Very weird. It will probably also be a little uncomfortable at first, and strange and … and awkward… and frightening at times. But I don't see that as anything new in this household."  
  
"Ha," Lorelai mouths without verbalizing.  
  
"Seriously - it won't be all fairy tale dust and daisies around here. But - we're Gilmores. And I think that is enough to give me the confidence that we could survive whatever is about to happen."  
  
Mother and daughter look at one another, coming to grips with the idea of their deteriorated twosome.  
  
"Ok," Rory says. After her mother continues to remain silent, Rory decides to elaborate. "It's ok to speak now."  
  
"Oh. I did good, don't you think?"  
  
"Yes. You did."  
  
"Don't let anyone ever tell you your mother has a problem with talking her mouth off."  
  
"I don't think I can stop them, Mom."  
  
"Very funny." Lorelai looks at her kid - her hidden treasure - and leans in to kiss her on the forehead. She leaves her head resting on Rory's. "Thank you."  
  
"No problem."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It has been two weeks since Max proposed, and there has never been a man so nervous. No - not Daisy Boy, even though that probably is the case. Max has thought about Lorelai every second of every day since then. He's heard from her almost every day and every day he keeps his mouth shut. What a patient man.   
  
The man I am speaking of has no idea what to think of his nervousness. It's not there for any rational, logical, healthy reason.  
  
She comes and goes almost every day, and he stands beside her, looking at her with anxious eyes. More specifically, he's looking at her left hand a lot - a lot, a lot.  
  
They don't talk about the proposal. He doesn't bring it up.   
  
That's not suspiciously quiet - just giving her space, that's all. Isn't that what friends do - respect one another's privacy?  
  
He has occasionally overheard her say a thing or two to Rory about it, so he knows it hasn't come *yet*. But each time she walks through that door, he tenses up. His mind freezes in preparation for the eventual blow.  
  
I can just see it now, Luke thinks to himself one morning while he was supposed to be "waiting on the customers." Knowing Lorelai, she won't know how to come out and say it so she'll just come out and say it. Bam. No warning. She'll screw up my whole system. I won't get any preemptive nervous ticks to judge or culminating banter that says, "Hey, it's coming up, so get ready, Luke!" It'll go something like this...  
  
"Luke!"   
  
"Lorelai."  
  
"Coffee!"  
  
"Is it just me or are the conversations we're having getting shorter and shorter?"  
  
"I haven't even started a conversation, silly!"  
  
"That may be true, but we know the only reason you even speak to me is to weasel the coffee out of my grasp."  
  
"That is *not* the only reason I talk to you."  
  
"Here."   
  
I hand her the coffee.  
  
"Thanks. Ok, gotta go!"  
  
I huff as she turns to laugh.  
  
"Kidding, Mr. I-Take-Everything-So-Seriously."  
  
"If I took everything so seriously, I would have had you committed years ago."  
  
"Ha. Ha."   
  
"So what did you do last night?"  
  
"Rory and I watched a rerun of 'errrrrrr.'"   
  
"Errrrrr?"  
  
"Yes. Very popular show despite the ridiculous name."  
  
"New reality show on MTV?"  
  
"No! Long-running Must-See-TV on Thursday night."  
  
"How could I have been so stupid to fall into such a bad joke."  
  
"But fall you did - and pretty far I might add."  
  
"Unfortunately... And how was *E.R.*, dare I ask?"  
  
"Pretty typical. Carter did something wrong and looked all floppy and cute. Mark got all serious on his ass. Romano shed his skin to reveal his true self, which, of course, was Satan."   
  
"I guess I dared."  
  
"Rory and I also ate a gallon of Chunky Monkey ice cream, and I do believe its intention is to make you chunkier than a monkey."  
  
"Monkey's aren't that chunky, Lorelai."  
  
"I said yes."  
  
"That sentence did not fit at all with what..."  
  
"I know. Sorry."  
  
Yeah, that's how it would go, Luke thinks. I can't wait. I'm getting hives just thinking about it.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So when are you going to tell him?"  
  
"Tonight. I just... I don't know, I think I should make a big deal out of it - invite him over for dinner or something."  
  
"So you plan on poisoning him before you say 'yes' so he can take the news nauseated?"  
  
"Ah! My plan is foiled!" Lorelai mocks. "So - bad idea?"  
  
"Not *bad*, but... how about... a stroll in the park at night? Under the stars. Highly romantic in a John Hughes-ish way."  
  
Lorelai looks at her daughter with a surprised expression. "How was I to know my daughter's genius extends to the area of shmaltzy romantic situations?"  
  
"Well, now you know."  
  
"We may have to cultivate your skill and use you to get to the production staff of Temptation Island II. Shake things up a bit, maybe garner ourselves an Emmy."  
  
"I'll start writing my acceptance speech."  
  
"Make sure to thank Mr. Hughes."  
  
"Of course." Rory stops and looks at her mom. "Good luck."  
  
Lorelai smiles warmly and touches Rory affectionately on the arm. "Thanks, sweetie."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Lorelai Gilmore walks through the streets of Stars Hollow. This brings us back to that shiny, majestic, exuberant place we all started at.  
  
Look at that happy lamppost! Lorelai thinks as she crosses the street.  
  
Look at that content bench by the tree! Lorelai thinks as she walks past the market.  
  
Look at that joyful... closed sign on Luke's door?! A look of shock passes on Lorelai's face as she strides up to The Coffee Shop door.  
  
No one was in there but Luke, who was now trying to escape to the kitchen. Lorelai throws open the diner door.  
  
"What in Juan Valdez's name do you think you're doing?!"  
  
Luke turns around to face Lorelai who's now marching her way up to the counter.  
  
"Don't you know how to read signs?"  
  
"What do you think caused me to barge in here?"  
  
"The sudden inexplicable urge for coffee?"  
  
"Good guess, but no."  
  
"This place was empty. I saw you coming down the street. I did *not* want to be bothered. Therefore, I put up the sign."  
  
"I thought I just heard you say a big loud *not* right before 'want to be bothered'."  
  
"You heard correctly."  
  
"Then why in samhill did you put up the *closed* sign in the middle of the day when you *know* that would only cause me to run in here demanding to know what is wrong?!"  
  
"That is … a very good question." Luke sighs in defeat and starts to walk back to the kitchen.  
  
Lorelai follows.   
  
"Go. Away."  
  
"You can stop your verbal attempts to get me out of this diner, Luke, because you know very well that short of you lifting and hauling me out of here yourself, I'm not moving. And even then... I'm known as a biter so I think you'd still have very little chance of getting your way."  
  
"You're incredibly aggravating sometimes, you know that?"  
  
"No! When was that decision made? The last town meeting? You know... I missed that one and I just *knew* I should've went, because..."  
  
Luke turns around abruptly, causing Lorelai to bump into him.  
  
"Ow. ... I'm sorry."  
  
"I'm sorry," Luke says at the same time.  
  
"Luke."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Don't blow up at me, now... just listen and answer calmly."  
  
"I'm making no promises."  
  
"I'll take my chances. Is this about Rachel?"  
  
"Rachel? Is *what* about Rachel?!"  
  
"This whole grumpy mood you're in."  
  
"Grumpy moo..." Luke raises voice and then stops, restraining his increasing frustration with Lorelai being so close to him, asking him what's wrong. If she only knew... "Nothing is about Rachel. Whatever you're perceiving as being grumpy has nothing to do with Rachel."  
  
"It's not?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Not at all?"  
  
"Why are you pressing this?"  
  
"Well... it's just... I thought you loved her, Luke!"  
  
"I'm *not* in love with Rachel!"  
  
"But you told..."  
  
"I was drunk, Lorelai."  
  
"Yes. Drunk off your ass from *maragaritas* none the less - and there must have been a reason why you got to that state, Luke."  
  
"Maybe I just felt like a drink."  
  
"Maybe you just feel like wearing plaid everyday. That doesn't mean there isn't something seriously wrong behind that unconscious motivation."  
  
"You should really back off of this, Lorelai."  
  
"Why? Because it's not right for a friend to want another friend to be happy?"  
  
Luke sighs heavily as Lorelai looks on in confusion.  
  
"I don't understand you sometimes, Lorelai," Luke mutters, just wishing for once she would leave him be. He couldn't talk about this now, he didn't have answers for her.   
  
"You're my friend. Friends want friends to be happy. Therefore, as your friend I want you to be happy and it's clear that right now, Luke Danes is not happy. Hence the worried questioning as to the source of your unhappiness."   
  
You could define irony just by looking at this situation alone, Luke thinks to himself. "I appreciate your concern, I really do. But nothing is wrong," he says once more.   
  
"Liar. What's wrong?"   
  
"Did you not hear what I just said?"   
  
"Yes. I did hear it. I disregarded it because of its obvious untruthfullness. Us intelligent girls tend do that from time to time," Lorelai rolls her eyes, frustrated. "I'm not an idiot, Luke, and I'd just like to state for the record that you lying to me about this really hurts me. Would it kill you to just admit something's bothering you? You don't even have to   
tell me what it is."   
  
"Fine, something's bothering me," Luke mumbles, hoping now she'll drop it. He should've known better.   
  
"Good! Glad you confessed. Now what is it?"   
  
"Lorelai!"   
  
"What? Is it so wrong for me to want to help you?"   
  
"Believe me, you *can't* help me with this."   
  
"Why can't I? I'm a happy girl. I can spread the feeling to you."   
  
"That's just it. I tell you what's bothering me, and you're going to be unhappy as a result. And since you yourself just said that friends don't want their friends to be unhappy, I'm not going to make you unhappy," Luke states, thinking that she can't possibly argue with that.   
  
Lorelai is stumped, not because of his logic, but because her mind is already working away at the fact that Luke's little secret would somehow lead to her own discontent. What the hell does that mean?  
  
"Why would your telling me make me unhappy?"   
  
"Just trust me, it would."   
  
"Then we can be unhappy together."   
  
"Rather not," Luke declines, shaking his head. "Now would you just drop it?"   
  
"If I drop it, will it break?" Lorelai asks, and Luke looks at her, puzzled. "Never mind. I just don't see why-"   
  
"Lorelai, I mean it. If I wanted to talk to you about this, I would've alright? But I don't! So please just stop!"   
  
Lorelai looks at him, slightly hurt. He actually sounded angry. Really angry.  
  
"Sorry, Luke, I didn't mean to..." Lorelai drifts off, not really knowing what to say. She reaches out and touches his arm comfortingly. "I won't pry anymore. Just know that if you change your mind, I'm willing to listen, okay?"   
  
Luke glances at her hand, realizing just how much he must love her, since watching her go like this is so painful.   
  
"Sorry I yelled," He mumbles and Lorelai nods.   
  
"I know. I'll see you tomorrow."   
  
She grabs her take-out cup and leaves some money on the counter as she heads out of the diner.  
  
"See ya."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Lorelai strolls into the kitchen at Independence Inn with her cup of coffee. Sookie is entranced by le pudding au flambe in front of her that she's poking and prodding and pretty much interrogating. Lorelai takes a seat across from Sookie, sips her coffee, and then sets her cup down softly on the counter with both hands continuing their death grip on the fragrant beverage.  
  
"Do you see your footure?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"What makes bumpy dessert so fascinating?"  
  
"It's not *bumpy*! Is it bumpy?!"  
  
"I see bumps."  
  
"They're slight protrusions in the surface. Rolling hills in the landscape."  
  
"Again - bumps."  
  
For the first time, Sookie breaks her examining glare from the flawed masterpiece in front of her. "What's wrong, Lorelai? You sound grumpy."  
  
"Grumpy? Do I sound grumpy?"  
  
"I just answered that question. This isn't Jeopardy."  
  
"I'm not grumpy."  
  
"Ok. Good." She turns her attention away from her grumpy friend and back onto her bumpy foe.  
  
"I have my coffee - how could I be grumpy?"  
  
"Right."  
  
"Coffee from Luke's - you can't get any less grumpy-causing coffee on the planet."  
  
"So I've been told."  
  
Lorelai leans in, inches away from the flambe, and squints her eyes. "You know… if you look long enough your eyes cross and they no longer look like bumps, but little sheep."  
  
Sookie's eyes slowly raise to meet Lorelai's. "Must I be forced to use the 'Lorelai gets kicked out of kitchen' card? Don't…"  
  
"… Don't pass GO, Don't collect $200. I know the rules."  
  
"Drink your coffee and shush."  
  
Lorelai sits up and raises her eyebrows. "Hmm. Now who's grumpy?"  
  
"You."  
  
"I know."  
  
"So you're admitting it?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Is this because of Max?"  
  
"Yes. Sort of. Partially."  
  
"Partially?"  
  
"Yes. He's a part."  
  
"Of the grumpiness."  
  
"Correct."  
  
"Want to tell me what the other part is, hon?"  
  
"I thought you told me to 'shush.'"  
  
"That's when you were insulting my thorough nature - now I'm asking as a concerned friend. What's wrong?"  
  
Lorelai sighs and looks at her coffee cup. "Why does this coffee have to taste so good?"  
  
"Lorelai? Honey. I hope that question in some way has to do with why you're grumpy or I'm not going to get anywhere in understanding what's wrong with you."  
  
Lorelai lifts up her cup and looks reverently at it. "This coffee - it just can't be denied. It's too perfect."  
  
"This is about Luke, isn't it?"  
  
Lorelai sets her cup down again and looks straight at Sookie. "What do you mean, 'this is about Luke'? You sound so confident."  
  
"Well… the reason you're rambling about the wonders of coffee is because you can't bring yourself to talk about what's really on your mind and that's Luke. Coffee is Luke substitute."  
  
"Coffee is substitute for nothing!"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Ok, so Luke is part of my state of grump. But that's only because he's grumpy and if he's grumpy then it makes the coffee-getting so much less enjoyable. Hence transferring the gloomy cloud over my head."  
  
Sookie eyes Lorelai, not letting on that she doubts Lorelai's comprehension of all that's going on around her.  
  
Lorelai continues with her rambling. "He was really angry and hurt, Sookie. I didn't like seeing him like that. Tell me - do you think it's an abominable thing to want to make your friends happy?"  
  
"Is that a trick question?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then…. No?"  
  
"Of course it isn't!"  
  
"What did you do this time to harass Luke?"  
  
"I did *not* harass Luke! Why do you automatically assume I harassed Luke?"  
  
"Because…"  
  
"Ok, I harassed Luke. But it was caring, thoughtful harassment."  
  
"Maybe he doesn't know the difference."  
  
"He should. After numerous years of unending caring, thoughtful harassment from me, he should know the difference."  
  
Sookie thinks for a second and squints her eyes. "You didn't happen to tell me *why* Luke was angry and hurt, did you? Because with the way you flew through this conversation, I'm not sure if I would have been able to catch that."  
  
"Sorry. No, I didn't. He was too stubborn to come out and tell me, *a concerned friend*, what was bothering him. But, I'm assuming it has something to do with Rachel."  
  
"You think he's still broken up over the fact that she left?"  
  
"Positive. Rory went to talk to him one night and…" Lorelai decides to skip over the "drunk off his ass" part. "He told her he thinks he's in love with her."  
  
"No," Sookie gasps and leans in, almost tarnishing her blouse with some sheepish looking pudding crust. "Oh, oopsy-daisy…"  
  
Daisy. Lorelai sighs and bites her lip. She takes another sip of her coffee.  
  
"I don't believe it."  
  
"What's not to believe, Sookie?"  
  
How do I go about saying this without giving away that… well… Sookie ponders to herself before speaking up. Gentle, Sookie. Slow and subtle.  
  
"How could Luke be in love with Rachel? He didn't even spend any time with her while she was here."  
  
Good. Very good, Sookie… maybe she'll pick up on the overhanging question of exactly *who* Luke was spending all of his time with.  
  
"He was scared! You know Luke isn't Mr. Touchy-Feely. He didn't know how to tell her how he felt, so instead he ran away like a scared little puppy. Typical Luke behavior."  
  
Damn. "Yes, but… he didn't seem that upset to me once she left. In fact, he was practically beaming the day after." A little exaggeration never hurt.  
  
"He did seem ok, didn't he."   
  
"He seemed more than ok."  
  
"But - again - that's just like him, not showing how he's really feeling. Anyway, Sookie - why are you fighting this? Do you think there's something else that's bothering Luke?"  
  
Sookie looked like she was about to say something but stopped. "No. Just… surprised, that's all. I didn't see anything between those two."  
  
"Yeah well, Rachel could get on my nerves at times, but she's all right. Let me change that - she *was* all right, until she completely broke the heart of my best friend. Now she's pond scum. No, worse - smelly, moldy leftover coffee grounds. And believe me, I've been there. It is *not* pretty."  
  
Sookie felt the need to switch gears. Maybe if they came at it from another angle,   
Lorelai's eyes would finally open.   
  
"Forget about Coffee Man troubles - tell me what's bothering you about Max."  
  
Lorelai takes a huge gulp of her java as she ponders what to say about Max.  
  
"Max. Max Max Max."  
  
"Repetition. Not a good sign."  
  
"I'm going to say 'yes.'"  
  
"I guess I was miles off of *that* target."  
  
Lorelai looks at her friend as she stares back, speechless.  
  
"So?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Yes, a repetition of my answer to the proposal? Yes, I heard you Lorelai? Or yes, I have control over my voice now?!"  
  
Sookie shakes her head. "I'm sorry, sweetie." She jumps up from her seat and hugs her friend, giving her a reassuring smile. "I guess I was just a little shocked, that's all. What with the way you've been acting lately…"  
  
"Grumpy?"  
  
"Not just that. You've been… I don't know… weird."  
  
"Ah yes. Lorelai Gilmore, weird. That is so out of the ordinary. Call the cops, cause something's going down."  
  
"You know what I mean. You haven't been yourself, lately."  
  
"Well, Sookie - I recently received a proposal of marriage from a very worthy, incredible man who loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I don't see why on Earth I could possibly be acting different from how I normally act."   
  
"So it's 'yes.'"  
  
"It's 'yes.'"  
  
"And you're happy."  
  
"Ecstatic." Lorelai relaxes her face and smiles.  
  
"Then I say we celebrate!"  
  
"Great idea! And we will… *after* I tell the groom."  
  
"How are you going to do it?" Sookie scoots closer to Lorelai, oozing her usual giddy excitement.  
  
"The Romantic Stroll Through the Park Routine."  
  
"Ah ha. Yes. Simple yet sweet. Private and personal yet open and spacious."  
  
"You think it's a good idea?"  
  
"I think it's a great idea, sweetie. Is it set for tonight?"  
  
"I think so. I haven't talked to Max yet."  
  
"And you've given this a lot of thought?"  
  
"Of course I've given this a lot of thought! What do you think I've been doing these past few days, playing Parcheesi?"  
  
"I know you've thought about this. You're Lorelai. I'm just asking you if you're absolutely, positively sure this is what you want."  
  
"This is what I want. I want someone, Sookie. I want someone worthy and special and wonderful enough to be a part of my life and Rory's. Max is romantic. He's thoughtful and funny and smart and handsome."  
  
"Well so is Jon Stewart, but I don't see you standing outside of The Daily Show pleading with him to make your life a fairy tale and play daddy for Rory."  
  
Lorelai jabs her finger at Sookie for emphasis. "You know very well that Jon Stewart is too short for me. The wedding pictures would look weird. Plus… he's married now. I would consider that an obstacle."  
  
"You get my point. Max is a lot of things that a lot of guys can be. What makes Max stand above the rest? What makes him the answer for you?"  
  
"One thousand daisies?"  
  
"That's a start… but are you going to say forever to someone just because he sent you a truck load of flowers?"  
  
Lorelai looks at her friend with a fallen face, seriously thinking about what's been put out there.  
  
Sookie thinks about how she's been trying to skirt the very issue she is about to bring up. She goes ahead, knowing it really is for the best. At least, that's what she tells herself.  
  
"Let me ask you this, and don't get mad at me."   
  
"Never a good way to start, Sookie."   
  
"Have you ever thought that what's bothering you about this, about you marrying Max, is your attachment to Luke?"   
  
"Luke and I are good friends," Lorelai says defensively. "I'm beginning to feel like a broken record these days. You, Max, my mother..."   
  
"I know you don't want to think about it, Lorelai, but your feelings for Luke..." Sookie stops, deciding to try something else. "Luke says one harsh thing to you and you're near tears, sweetie. You don't see him for one day and you feel strange. And it's not about getting the coffee," Sookie says, feeling Lorelai start to interrupt. "You go to the diner everyday because you like talking to him. You're not bickering, you're flirting. Luke is a   
major part of your life and when you're with Max, Luke is still there in the back of your mind. So obviously, until you address the whole Luke issue and clear up your own feelings for him, you're going to have doubts about Max."   
  
"You couldn't be more wrong. You're Michael Jackson getting one more facelift wrong."   
  
"Okay..."   
  
Lorelai is staring at a spot on the floor, blank and frighteningly calm. She slowly looks up at Sookie.   
  
"You're wrong." Her voice is wavering. Sookie notices her insecurities so she feels compelled to leave her alone for the time being. She needs to figure this out for herself.   
  
She looks at Lorelai and nods. Lorelai grabs her purse and begins to walk out of the kitchen.   
  
"Lorel…"  
  
"I'll talk to you later."  
  
Sookie wasn't too worried about their friendship. Lorelai sounded more confused than angry. She wasn't that worried about Lorelai either. She knew she'd get this straightened out. Lorelai Gilmore is nothing if not determined.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Lorelai stumbles out of that debacle with the intent to flee. Dramatically if possible. She wanted to get in her car and drive. She didn't know where, some place where it was just her and her thoughts. It was time to confront this jumbled mess.  
  
She passes Michel and forces herself to hold back the viciously funny comment she has about his tie, throwing a finger up in the process. "No. No speaking. I'm leaving. I'll be back in a... I'll be back."  
  
"But Your Highness, Prince Charming is on the phone." His accent flows out of his mouth thick and heavy - he must be in an extraordinarily grouchy, patron-hating mood today.  
  
Lorelai turns on her heels and looks at the phone in Michel's hand. For a split second - maybe four-fifths of a second - Lorelai pictures Luke's face at the other end of the phone. This just makes her want to flee even faster. But she doesn't move an inch.  
  
Michel looks at her expectedly. "And to my bewilderment, he's asking for you."   
  
Lorelai stands there, looking at the receiver, which is now being impatiently waved in front of her.   
  
"Well?! "   
  
Silence while Lorelai continues the staring contest with the phone and Michel's blood pressure rises.  
  
"I hold this *thing* for hours on end in your establishment. If I hold it any longer I will receive some sort of disease with which I will press charges for physical endangerment in an occupational setting."  
  
Lorelai doesn't take her eyes off of the phone, but she takes her hands, which were previously hovering around her mouth in a nervous manner, and quickly grabs the phone from Michel. She turns away from him and takes a deep breath.  
  
*Humph* "Not even the slightest acknowledgement of my existence. I wonder if that constitutes for emotional distress..." Michel mumbles a few more choice words and walks away.  
  
Lorelai puts the phone up to her ear. "Hello?"  
  
"Lorelai. It's Max."  
  
"Max!"  
  
"How are you?"  
  
"How am I?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I... am...."  
  
A few moments pass and Max stiffens up. "Silent."  
  
Lorelai lets out a nervous laugh. "Tired."  
  
Max smiles, relieved. For a second there, he thought she'd hand him the old "we have to talk." Don't scare me like that, Lorelai.  
  
"Lorelai, is something..."  
  
"Nothing's wrong. Sorry. Things... things are just a little distracting at the Inn right now..." Lorelai looks around for sources of loud busy sounds - the place was dead.  
  
Noise. Need noise, Lorelai thinks to herself.   
  
Lorelai grabs a stapler near her and drops it back on the counter. At the same time she takes her other hand and flings a few pens against the wall. After swiftly ringing the bell a few frantic times, she then takes the papers near by and ruffles through them, inadvertedly giving herself a paper cut.   
  
"Ouch. Damn."  
  
"Lorelai?"  
  
"Yes. Sorry. I'm fine."  
  
"You don't *sound* fine."  
  
"What is it with me and not *sounding* a particular happy-go-lucky way? Everyone should get their ears checked, because I have excellent hearing and I'm hearing myself and I sound *fine*!"  
  
"My ears apologize."  
  
"Your voice should, too." Lorelai feels the tension and regrets her explosive hormones.  
  
"You know…"  
  
"I'm sorry Max. Really, I am. It's just…"  
  
"Need some coffee?"  
  
Lorelai's throat falls into her stomach and her heart down to her feet. "Coffee?"  
  
"Yeah. Hot brown liquid. Part of your blood stream. Wouldn't be surprised if you dream more about coffee than me..."  
  
"How do *you* know what I dream about. For all you know I could be dreaming about... purple iguanas!"  
  
"That really isn't surprising."  
  
"You see me as the purple iguana type gal, huh?"  
  
"No. I've just learned that when it comes to Lorelai Gilmore - expect the unexpected. So I expect purple iguanas to replace me in your subconscious."  
  
"They didn't quite *replace*... oh, what am I do... why, why did you call?" Lorelai stumbles with her words and grasps the phone a little tighter, biting her lower lip.  
  
"I just wanted to see how the woman I love is doing. And... I wanted..." Max loses his nerve. What he really wanted was to ask her about the proposal. He wanted to banter and exchange witty innuendo. He wanted to then use his wordsmith abilities to approach the topic - subtly and openly. But he froze. Something didn't feel right. She needed more time. "I wanted to say 'I love you' and I'm thinking of you. There... still distracted?"  
  
Lorelai can't help but smile. This man loves her. Why the hell does he have to be so *endearing* all the time?! "Well... yes. But by something entirely different. Will I see you tonight?"  
  
"Do you want to see me tonight?"  
  
"I do."  
  
"Tell me where and when and I'm there."  
  
Lorelai thinks for a second and makes a decision. Again. "Stars Hollow Park. Eight o'clock."  
  
"I'm there."  
  
"Wow. That was quick."  
  
Max laughs. "I'll see you tonight."  
  
"I'll see you." She hesitates then hangs up the phone, letting go of a sigh.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Max Medina walks into a coffee bar in Hartford, sitting down to drink a cup of something foamy and ponder the possibilities of what is wrong with Lorelai.  
  
Max sits on a stool near the counter and asks for a grande latte, extra foam. He takes out the ring and looks at it sitting in its case. The ring. The ring he hopes will adorn Lorelai Gilmore's finger very soon. His hopes are high, but as he sits there thinking about their recent uncomfortable conversation, he wonders whether or not his hopes are in vain.  
  
As he moves the ring around to observe its sparkle, a woman sits down next to him, sighing.  
  
"Mocha java, please."  
  
"Whipped cream on top," the eyebrow-studded young man behind the counter asks.  
  
"Sure. I need the added sugar."  
  
She looks over at Max and smiles. He smiles back and asks, "Tough day?"  
  
"Tough past few weeks." She sticks out her hand, "My name's Rachel."  
  
"Max."  
  
"Nice to meet you, Max." Rachel's eye catches the glittering stone before her. "You look like a man in love." Her head nods toward the ring.  
  
"Oh. Well…" Max looks a bit too sad as he closes the case and puts the ring back in his pocket. "I am."  
  
"When do you plan on popping the question?"  
  
"I already have."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Long story."  
  
"I'm sure it's romantic."  
  
"In it's own twisted way, yes."  
  
"Why do you still have the ring?"  
  
"The question popping was kind of abrupt, so…"  
  
"I see." She looks over and smiles at the forlorn man. "She's going to love it."  
  
"I hope so." He seems a little more hopeful as he looks up at Rachel.  
  
"Did she say yes?"  
  
"Not yet. I didn't give her a chance to. I told her I wanted her to think about it. "  
  
"Very diplomatic of you."   
  
"Thanks. If only it didn't eat me up inside, I'd feel more like a gentleman."  
  
"Very understandable." Rachel thinks for a second. "You know... I feel like confessing something."  
  
"Confess away."  
  
"I'm a photographer and well... I took a picture of you looking at the ring from back there..." Rachel nods in the direction of the door of the cafe. "And I have to say, you didn't really..." Rachel frowns, unsure of how to put it.  
  
"... look like a man in love?"  
  
"No. That's not it..."  
  
"No, that's ok."  
  
"Maybe... more of the other way around?"  
  
"I looked dejected."  
  
"I guess you could say that."  
  
"You're very perceptive." Max nods at Rachel.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be. She hasn't rejected me... yet. It just feels... off. I really care about her. I love her. I should stop letting my doubts and fears get in the way of the possibility to be happy with this woman, though."  
  
"You're right. You're so right... I know someone that should take that very advice."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah. A good friend of mine. I tried to tell him in my own way, but he has to find out for himself, ya know?"  
  
"Yes. I do." Max grabs his latte from Stud Boy.  
  
"My friend - he's in love with this woman, and it took me, his ex-girlfriend, to snap him out of a huge amount of denial and face the facts."  
  
"Wow. That must have been hard for you, being close to him yourself."  
  
"It was. At first, I was jealous. I came back to try and rebuild our relationship again. I was serious. I was determined. But… I could tell that things had changed. She brings things out in him I never could."  
  
"And what did he do with this realization?"  
  
"Actually - I don't know. I told him that he shouldn't wait too long to tell her, but… knowing him he's still waiting. He'll probably be waiting for a while, and soon enough, he'll have lost his chance."  
  
Max sits in silence, thinking about the point Rachel drove home with her story about that misguided, cowardly friend of hers. The best time is here and now - don't let any more time go by without showing Lorelai how you feel, Max tells himself. This is what I want. I want to be married to her - enough waiting.  
  
Metal Head comes back with Rachel's mocha java.  
  
"Thank you." Rachel takes the hot beverage in her hands. "It's funny… Luke hates coffee with a passion and both the women he's loved are horribly addicted to it."  
  
"Hmm." Max laughs and smiles at her, oblivious of what was just said. "I should take some back to my girlfriend, Lorelai. Coffee's always a guaranteed ice breaker with her."  
  
"Lorelai?"  
  
"Yeah. Lorelai Gilmore. She lives in Stars Hollow... small town close to Hartford."  
  
"Uhhh…" Rachel begins to shake her head and look at her watch, terrified of what she might have just caused. "I… wow… I have to get going. It was really nice meeting you, Max."  
  
She gets up and shakes his free hand.  
  
"It was nice… meeting you, Rachel." Max looks confused, stumbling over his words.  
  
"Good luck with your girlfriend," she says as she breezes out of the café.  
  
"Thank you," Max says to… well, no one since Rachel's already out the door.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
After Lorelai got off the phone with Max and after she escaped the clutches of a malice-wielding Michel, she dashed to her car and drove. She didn't know where she wanted to go. Well - she knew where she *wanted* to go, but decided that Australia was a little too far away just to avoid your problems. Plus, Rory would be jealous.  
  
So instead of relaxing on a beach near Sydney, she's now sitting on the rotting steps of her dream. That's not an attempt to be poetic - there really are steps. They're connected to what will someday be an inn. A great inn. A beautiful, magical, adored inn filled with people. Very happy people.  
  
Someday, Lorelai mentally sighs. I'll show the world. World, of course, meaning Emily Gilmore. I'll have my inn. I'll have my ecstatically-happy-Harvard-attending young daughter. I'll have my … what have I always wanted? Oh yes - perfectly understanding, increasingly caring, eternally warm, bitingly witty, absolutely irresistible man. A man who will be life affirming and generous. A man who will give me coffee beans instead of flowers to make up for that disastrous comment he made the night before.   
  
Hmm. Not that one thousand daisies aren't extremely romantic and thoughtful and wonderful. I didn't mean that in the least when I just said that.  
  
I'm sure anything that the man I love does will make me happy. What is happiness anyway? That is a very good question - but not one that a mentally unstable person such as myself could really be expected to answer.   
  
Lorelai wistfully plays with some dandelions that are growing around the front steps. While trying to focus on something other than her own thoughts, she happens to focus on other people's thoughts. That did not help in the slightest.   
  
She could hear her mother's strained voice spouting accusations. "This man was at Rory's birthday party, he came to the hospital with you, he's the male lead in every story you tell, you go to the diner every single day. I've seen the way he looks at you, the way you look at him. I'm not a fool."  
  
Sookie's tender, but unnerving words are also brought to mind. "My point is that you called Luke. Out of all the people in town that you could have called that would have come over and dropped what they were doing, you called Luke."  
  
Let's be honest, Lorelai - Okay. Okay, so I may have feelings for two men at the same time. That happens, right? All right. This is what I do… I go to Luke. I ask him… what do I ask him? Do I ask him, hey do you love me? Do I ask him why it is that he seems to break his strict code of conduct - new clothes, people behind his counter, redecorating even if it's unnoticeable redecorating - only for me? Closing his life's work on a whim because I need someone to drive me to a hospital. Would he do that for anyone else? Should I ask him these things?   
  
After I horribly embarrass myself and possibly ruin my wonderful friendship with Luke, I go to Max. I then proceed to horribly embarrass myself and ruin whatever relationship we could have together.  
  
Then, I go to Hartford. Track down the most acclaimed psychoanalyst within a 60 mile radius - I'm sure my mother could be a big help for once - and have myself committed.  
  
This is simple. And I'm being silly. If it's taking me this long and this many Advils to come to any sort of "conclusion" then… well…  
  
Lorelai stands up quickly and heads back to her car. When she gets to the door she turns to look at the crumbly building before her.   
  
"This is going to be one hell of an inn," she says with a smile as hops in her car to make her way to Luke's.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Lorelai walks up to Luke's door. She turns around. Walks back five steps. She turns around again. She makes it a teeny bit closer to his door the second time only to turn around again. The third time, thinking it's the charm, she walks faster and more determined. She's an arm's length away from the door when a brown suit catches her eye.   
  
Max appears around the corner.  
  
"Lorelai!"  
  
"Max. Hi."  
  
He walks up to her with his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face.  
  
"Coffee break?"  
  
"Yeah. Sookie hasn't been keeping up with the supply lately. What are you doing here?"  
  
"I was actually on my way to the Inn to catch you by surprise."  
  
"Ah, well you're ahead of yourself, because you caught me by surprise here!"  
  
"I see that. I was thinking about picking you up some coffee in hopes that it would brighten your disastrous day at work."  
  
"That's very considerate of you."  
  
Max looks at the door they're standing in front of. "Well seeing as though we are where we are right now… would you like me to buy you some coffee?"  
  
Lorelai looks at the door and back at Max. "Umm… sure. Thanks."  
  
Max and Lorelai enter the diner and take a seat at the nearest table. Lorelai sees Luke pick up the phone that's ringing on the counter. She breathes a sigh of relief that he has yet to notice them.  
  
Max touches Lorelai's hand to get her attention. "Tell me what's wrong."  
  
"What's wrong? What do you mean 'what's wrong'?"  
  
"You're not yourself."  
  
"Who am I then, Rosa Parks?"  
  
Max makes a face at her random remark. "You know what I mean. You didn't… well you didn't seem that happy to see me. I just want to know whether or not your mood is being effected by something more than a bad day at work, that's all."  
  
Lorelai is again looking over at Luke, more intrigued as ever since he was secretly huddled over the receiver. He took his cap off and ran his fingers through his hair. Something he only did when he was nervous. Or, of course, when he was increasingly exasperated with Taylor's ranting at the town meetings. Since the setting was his diner, Lorelai guessed the former.  
  
"Lorelai?!"  
  
She turns suddenly, embarrassed about her staring episode. "What?!"  
  
"Why were you staring at Luke?"  
  
"I was not staring at Luke."  
  
"What were you staring at then?"  
  
"If you must know… the new batch of muffins he has placed out on the counter. I was mulling over whether or not to get one."  
  
"Ah. I see." Max is seriously unimpressed.  
  
"Blueberry to be exact."  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
Max looks earnestly at Lorelai. "Let's get serious for a moment. I have something I want to talk to you about and I think we need to talk about it this very instant before I go completely crazy…"  
  
Max is about to continue when Luke steps up to the table.  
  
"Hello you two. What will it be?" His eyes are low and desperately trying not to focus on anything near either one of their faces.  
  
Max sighs and takes his hand away from Lorelai's. "We'll both have coffee."  
  
"Is that all?" Luke's eyes look over at Lorelai for a split second to see her examining him and squinting in confusion.  
  
"Yes, that's it. Thank you, Luke," Max huffs.  
  
"No!" Lorelai speaks up a tad too much like a person being electrocuted.   
  
Max looks hesitantly at her. "Changed your mind?"  
  
"Yes. I mean, no. Just coffee. I umm… just wanted to ask you, Luke… I'm curious… who was it you were talking to on the phone?"   
  
Still not making direct prolonged eye contact, Luke sulks. "It's none of your business."  
  
"I agree. But that doesn't diminish my curiosity. Who was it you were talking to?"  
  
"Must you know everything that's going on in someone's life, Lorelai? I mean honestly… you're crossing the line to join the Miss Patty's of the world."  
  
"Information is a highly valuable thing. It is the Miss Patty's of this world that will one day rule over all the uniformed recluses."  
  
"And it is the Miss Patty's that will suck all the liberty and privacy individuals have in this country."  
  
"Miss Patty has been referenced *way* too many times in this discussion. Back to my point. All I'm saying is, you look jumpy."  
  
"I'm not jumpy."  
  
"You look uneasy, then."  
  
"I'm perfectly easy."  
  
Lorelai just smirks at his comment. Luke sighs and rolls his eyes.  
  
"I'm fine, Lorelai. Thanks for the concern, but it's unnecessary." Untrue to his words, Luke continues to tap his pencil nervously on the pad of paper he's holding.  
  
Lorelai doesn't give up. What a surprise. "Ok, buddy. You're dead wrong." She points at the pencil, exposing his jitters. "I don't think I've seen you this nervous since… well, since Rachel was in town."  
  
At that, Luke's pencil stops in mid tap. And what Lorelai doesn't notice, since she's looking at Luke, is that Max's eyes inexplicably light up. He looks up at Luke with a new and frightening understanding.  
  
Lorelai's finger makes a jabbing motion toward Luke. "That's it! It was Rachel, wasn't it?!"  
  
"I'm getting your coffee."  
  
"Awww, come on, Luke!" Lorelai looks over at Max. "I *have* to go get the low down on this. It sounds big. I'll be right back." She is partly out of her seat when she notices the look on Max's face. She stops, taken aback.  
  
"Max? What's wrong?"  
  
The silence said enough.  
  
To be continued…  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Last Breaths and First Steps

Title: "Last Breaths and First Steps," Part Five to Cornerstones of Confusion Author: Barb  
  
Last time (a million years ago), on Cornerstones of Confusion.  
  
Lorelai's finger makes a jabbing motion toward Luke. "That's it! It was Rachel, wasn't it?!"  
  
"I'm getting your coffee."  
  
"Awww, come on, Luke!" Lorelai looks over at Max. "I *have* to go get the low down on this. It sounds big. I'll be right back." She is partly out of her seat when she notices the look on Max's face. She stops, taken aback.  
  
"Max? What's wrong?"  
  
The silence said enough.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Max takes a deep breath and looks around, gathering his thoughts. After a few moments, he turns his attention back to Lorelai, chuckling a bit sardonically. Lorelai eyes him, not sure of what's about to happen.  
  
"Max?" She prompts him, not liking the feeling of being a deer caught in the headlights, seeing the car and not moving a muscle.  
  
"Nothing... it's just... it all makes sense now, that's all."  
  
"What makes sense?"  
  
"Everything. All of this."  
  
"Umm... okay. I think you're going to have to be more specific, 'cause that whole making sense thing... kind of *not* making sense." Lorelai laughs nervously.  
  
"I just... it's funny, really. I came here today for a reason and now..." He pulls at his necktie, leaning back in his seat. He sits back up two seconds later, tapping his fingers against the table. "I think we should get out of here. Take a walk?"  
  
Lorelai begins to laugh, attempting to brush his request off. "Max. Come on. we just ordered coffee. Getting Luke to agree to distribute the magic brew is a feat not easily managed... once you win, walking away without the coffee would be sacrilege." Max is not amused. With a serious expression on her face she prepares herself for the fall. "Clearly not the time for humor," she mumbles, then looks straight into Max's eyes, deciding to meet him head on. "Max. whatever you want to talk about, we can talk it about here."  
  
Max considers protesting, then decides to let Lorelai have her way. "Fine. We'll talk about it here. It's more fitting anyway." Max pauses for a moment. "You know, I was in that coffee shop today... the one where we bumped into each other?"  
  
"You were?" Lorelai says with a faint smile.  
  
"Yeah, I was," Max replies. "And I was sitting there and thinking about you. This random woman sat down next to me and before I knew it I was telling her all about you, and how wonderful you are, and... and suddenly all I wanted to do was come here and tell you how much I love you and how badly I want you to marry me. I was all set to... I was prepared to convince you that..."  
  
"Max..." Lorelai starts, but he stops her.  
  
"But I've realized something. I can fight all I want to, but it'll all be in vain. Because I can't win your heart, it's not something... I can be your knight in shining armor, but it won't matter because you prefer plaid shirts and coffee pots to flashy costumes and valiantly drawn swords."  
  
"That's not..." Lorelai begins, leaning over and reaching for his hands, but she pulls back feeling helpless. "I don't see where this is coming from. What have I done to..."  
  
"Lorelai, it's not what you've done, it's what you've *not* done. You haven't been honest with yourself."  
  
"I am nothing if not honest," Lorelai retorts, trying to negate his serious words. The tension and the seriousness was getting too much to handle, partially because deep down she knew that if Max hadn't given her this surprise visit, she'd be talking to Luke about the same exact issues right now.  
  
"Lorelai... I would give anything to believe you."  
  
"But you don't."  
  
"Something feels wrong, and I can't go on with you like this if you're not being honest with me. or with yourself. I'm not going to have you make a decision about us. I don't think you can right now. I'm going to walk out of here and I will not make any more attempts to reach you. I care so much about you, Lorelai. I love you. I would hope that you at least know that much. But I'm walking out of here and if you really want me in your life. you make the effort. If after a while, I never hear from you, then. well."  
  
Max gets up from his seat, looking hurt and dejected. Tears are freely rolling down Lorelai's cheeks.  
  
"Max, don't do this. I..."  
  
Max turns around and walks back to the table. He looks down at Lorelai, who finds it hard to bear to look up at him.  
  
Max says in a hushed voice, "Lor... we both know who you love. And it's not me."  
  
At that moment, Luke comes back out of the kitchen, heading over toward Lorelai and Max with a fresh pot of coffee in hand. Max glances at him, part of him feeling angry, hurt, and envious, but the other part of him feeling calm because he knows. He knows that if he can't be the one to make Lorelai happy, this guy can, and will. If the two of them ever realize it. Without saying anything, Max turns and walks out of the diner.  
  
"What just happened?" Luke asks quietly, looking down at the stunned and silent Lorelai. She shakes her head slowly, then looks up at him.  
  
"Better make that coffee to go," Lorelai finally manages to say, standing up. "I... I have to go somewhere."  
  
"Ok." Luke looks at her as she fidgets, avoiding his eyes and fighting the emotions that are rising to the surface. He gently grabs her arm, startling her. "Are you sure you're okay?"  
  
Her watery eyes look at him and something seems to break. She can barely get the words out. "I have to go." And with that she turns and leaves the diner with Luke still holding the coffee pot.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Lorelai bursts into the kitchen at Independence Inn with a confused conscious and shaking hands.  
  
"Sookie." Lorelai's voice is wavering and instantly her friend shows concern.  
  
"Lorelai! What's wrong? Are you okay?"  
  
"Well. time will tell, I guess."  
  
"What happened with Luke?"  
  
"Nothing. Nothing happened with Luke." With a pained look on her face, she begins to pace the floor.  
  
"Honey, what happened? Did you get to talk to him? Did you."  
  
"I didn't get a chance to talk to him. I was too busy talking to someone else."  
  
"Who? ... Kirk?"  
  
Lorelai stops pacing and stares intently at her friend. "Yes, Sookie. Kirk. His fascinating tales about life as a traveling man had me in complete awe. I couldn't find it in me to tear myself away."  
  
After a moment's realization, Sookie catches on. "Oh. Max. Oh no, what was he." Sookie goes to comfort her, but Lorelai pulls back slightly.  
  
"I ran into him outside of the diner. I can't believe it, Sookie. Five seconds before I was going to enter that diner, demanding to talk to Luke about his possible feelings for me and my. possible. feelings. and well. there he comes around the corner. This did *not* go the way I had planned."  
  
"Things rarely do, sweetie."  
  
"I mean. I wanted to figure out what I was really feeling and thinking before jumping into this and all of a sudden. the decision is being made for me!"  
  
"He called it off?"  
  
"Not exactly. He left me with the decision to make the next move, but. what he said to me I can't. it's over."  
  
"He didn't treat you. Lor, he didn't attack you did he?"  
  
"No. No, he wasn't mean, really. He did accuse me, though. He accused me of not being honest. And he was right. He was right, Sookie." Lorelai looks absolutely mad at herself as she clenches her fists.  
  
"Honest about what?"  
  
"Honest about everything. My insecurities, my fear of commitment, my doubts about our relationship . my feelings for Luke."  
  
"He brought up Luke?"  
  
"Not in so many words. He. burst out saying something about how I prefer 'plaid shirts and coffee pots' to 'knights in shining armor.' And when he left. he said. 'we both know who you love and it's not me.' Can you believe him? How can he know that, when I don't even know for sure myself. *Love*, Sookie! Love is such a strong word. Where did he get. why did he feel so strongly about my supposed infatuation with Luke that he couldn't fight for me anymore?"  
  
"Maybe he saw something that you didn't?"  
  
"Well, it seems like that's been happening for a long time, doesn't it? I don't know."  
  
As tears continue their way down Lorelai's cheeks, Sookie's heart aches for her friend.  
  
"Honey. you should go home. Take the rest of the day off. Relax, gather your thoughts."  
  
Lorelai sniffles and brushes her hair off of her face. "I want nothing to do with my thoughts right now."  
  
"Well, then skip the gathering, just kick 'em away with your feet and forget about thinking all together."  
  
"Good idea."  
  
"An even better one is if, after I'm done here, I come visit you and fix you dinner."  
  
"Awww, Sookie, that's very sweet of you and I understand how being my best friend right now is a great opportunity to ease pain with enormous amounts of food, but. I'm gonna have to say no. I think I need this time for myself."  
  
"Lorelai, are you sure? I think it's easier to kick away those pesky thoughts when you have two pairs of feet."  
  
"I appreciate your concern, honey, you know I do, but." Lorelai picks up her purse and looks back at Sookie.  
  
"Yeah. I understand." Lorelai begins to leave and Sookie directs a finger at her. "But you know that I might very well not listen to you and come anyway."  
  
Lorelai smiles. "I know." Lorelai gives her a quick, but tight hug before heading home. Sookie stands in her kitchen, watching Lorelai go with a sigh.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Lorelai walks into a dark house. She drops her purse on the ground and leans back against the door. Running a hand over her face and taking a deep breath, she walks over and turns on a light.  
  
"Rory?"  
  
The silence sets in and she remembers that Rory planned on staying at Lane's tonight, leaving Lorelai to have her romantic evening with Max.  
  
The phone rings, making Lorelai jump.  
  
Please let it be Rory... please let it be Rory...  
  
When she finally finds the phone under a pile of dirty laundry on the living room floor, she tries her best to compose herself before answering.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Lorelai."  
  
Oh dear God, no. "Mom."  
  
"Were you planning on waiting until your wedding day to tell me of this engagement? Maybe your ten year anniversary?!"  
  
Lorelai fought the urge to scream... and lost.  
  
"Ahhhh! How... how..."  
  
"Word gets around, Lorelai. I just can't believe that I am probably the last person in all of Stars Hollow and Hartford combined that knows that my daughter is engaged, and to..."  
  
"Mom! Listen - I am *not* engaged! I was *never* engaged! I never said 'yes,' and he will never ask, ever again, so you can go about your life as it was before and continue to complain about how *unfortunate* it is that I have no one in my life."  
  
"Lorelai..." Emily's tone is more disturbed and condescending than anything else.  
  
My God, can this woman ever show some sympathy?!  
  
"Goodnight, Mother."  
  
Lorelai hangs up and goes into the kitchen to make some coffee. She picks up the coffee pot and stares at it. All of a sudden, Sookie's words come back to haunt her.  
  
"Coffee is Luke substitute."  
  
She sets the coffee pot down, and looks at it as if it could jump up and bite her.  
  
Wandering into the dim living room, she decides a nap might be a novel idea. If the world won't let her forget, she'll forget about the world for a while.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The dinner crowd is dying down and Luke finds himself alone with his thoughts. Here's what his thoughts are pretty much saying to him:  
  
On one hand, he couldn't be more relieved and thrilled to see Max walk out of that door and perhaps out of Lorelai's life forever. On the other hand, he hates the fact that it hurt Lorelai so much to see him go. And on some third hand that materialized out of nowhere, he is fearfully but hopefully scheming the possibilities that lie ahead.  
  
Luke is startled from his trance when the door to the diner opens.  
  
He is surprised to see Sookie walking up to his counter.  
  
"Hi, Luke."  
  
"Hello, Sookie. What are you doing here?"  
  
"Getting something to eat. What do you think I'm doing here?"  
  
"Nothing. I mean, we all know you can cook for yourself, Sookie. And plus, you usually only eat here when you're with Lorelai."  
  
Luke's strained voice at the end of that sentence does not go unnoticed by Sookie. He studies her as she sits down in front of him, silently.  
  
"Oh jeez, don't tell me this is an ambush!" Luke grumbles. "I've told you before and I'll tell you again, I will *not* buy those stupid little parsley leaves to decorate my dishes! My dishes are unadorned. They're simple and to the point. They have food on them. You eat the food. Period."  
  
Luke ends his rant and notices the blank look on Sookie's face.  
  
"No. parsley ambush?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Your argument was very convincing, though."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
Sookie laughs. "That's. it's okay."  
  
"So. what would you like?"  
  
"Coffee and one fabulous piece of apple pie, please?"  
  
"Coming right up." Luke pours her a cup of coffee and goes to get the pie. "Heated?"  
  
"Ohhhh, yes. Thank you."  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Oh and. you know, could you add some vanilla ice cream to the side of it?"  
  
"Uhh. sure. Yeah, I think I have some vanilla."  
  
"Oh, oh, do you happen to have cinnamon swirl ice cream? It's best homemade, but if."  
  
"Sookie." Luke glares at her. And it's a stern glare.  
  
"Right. Yes, sorry."  
  
"Yeah." Her brings her the heated pie. "I'll go get that ice cream."  
  
Sookie nods sheepishly. With Luke out of glaring range, she decides to strike up her previously intended conversation.  
  
"So, Luke?!"  
  
"Yeah?!" Luke hollers from the back, sounds of general rummaging coming out from the kitchen.  
  
"Sooooo. now that Max is out of the picture, how long are you going to wait to ask Lorelai out?"  
  
Almost instantly, the sound of something very large and very metallic hitting the floor comes from Luke's direction. Sookie winces and prepares herself for what's to come next. Luckily there are only two other people in the diner besides Luke and Sookie, and they are both out of towners. Luke can't use that against her.  
  
After a moment of no Luke emerging from the vicinity of the clanging, Sookie begins to worry.  
  
"Luke? Luke, are you okay back there?"  
  
Luke appears with a dumbfounded look on his face and the vanilla ice cream in his possession. Sookie smiles innocently and cocks her head to the side.  
  
"So? You think... maybe... next week?"  
  
Luke sets the ice cream down with a thud. "You're batty."  
  
"And you're avoiding the obvious, Luke."  
  
"I'm not avoiding anything!" Luke mumbles under his breath, "I knew you had to have an ulterior motive."  
  
Sookie just shakes her head and gently lays it on the coffee man. "You're avoiding *her*, Luke. You're avoiding your feelings for her. Have been for years."  
  
"I do *not* need to be hearing this from you, Sookie."  
  
"I guess I'll just have to keep on stating the obvious, because you keep on avoiding it. You love her, Luke. We all know you do."  
  
"You... you don't understand... I..."  
  
Sookie makes her head do a funny little thing that insinuates the need for him to continue his thought. "You... ?"  
  
"It's complicated, Sookie. You know that."  
  
"What's complicated?"  
  
"Stuff."  
  
"Feelings stuff."  
  
"Complicated ruining-of-a-friendship-that's-built-up-over-years kind of stuff." Luke runs his hand over his cap, looking away from Sookie. She continues to stare at him questioningly, and he waves her off. "Forget it."  
  
"You can't go the rest of your life knowing you love her and not letting that come out, Luke. You're going to explode one of these days! It's inevitable!"  
  
"Why are you telling me this? Lorelai just got walked-out-on by her. what might have possibly been her fiancé. and you're telling me that I should just ask her out?!"  
  
"No, not necessarily. Just. don't let this one go by and think that the next one will go by too, and the one after that, and the one after that. Stop dreaming up the day that it will just *happen*. Because you know that you'll just keep dreaming and Lorelai will just keep on living her life. oblivious to the fact that you lo."  
  
Luke shoots his beady eyes of steel..  
  
"Care very much for her. Now, how this woman could be completely oblivious boggles my mind, but she's working with some major form of denial that has yet."  
  
"Sookie!"  
  
Sookie jumps and looks at Luke. Who just happens to look like the saddest man on Earth.  
  
"Please. stop."  
  
"I'm just trying to help."  
  
"I know. But I don't need to be told what I should and should not do when it comes to Lorelai. It's not that easy."  
  
Sookie dolefully gets out of her seat and pays him for the coffee and pie, which she didn't even touch. Luke's staring at the counter as she says one last thing.  
  
"Don't forget. No matter what you feel for her, you're still her friend, Luke."  
  
Luke's eyes furtively glance up at Sookie's comment. She turns with a sad look on her face and exits the diner, leaving Luke alone with his thoughts once again.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Oompa loompa... oomp... euhhh." Lorelai sighs deeply, cuddles closer to the blankets around her and stares dejectedly at the screen in front of her. "It's not the same without Rory. Oompas aren't nearly as funny without someone to share the sarcasm." She lets go of another sigh. "Blah."  
  
A tentative knock at the door startles Lorelai. She doesn't move, just looks up at the door expectantly.  
  
"Oh. Sookie, honey... I told you you didn't need to come over here."  
  
She reluctantly pushes the blankets off of her and gets off the couch in a huff.  
  
"I'm all right. I swear. The Oompas make good company."  
  
She shuffles her feet as she walks toward the front door to let her friend in.  
  
"They're small. And plump. And they love to snuggle." She makes it to the door, unlocks it and opens it slowly with her tired effort. "... I'm thinking of buying one on the black market. I hear... Luke!"  
  
There standing at the door was Luke. He had a brown bag in his arms. His mouth was agape with something he wanted to say but it just didn't seem to want to come out.  
  
Lorelai stood there looking at him. Her face showed surprise, as well as a hint of a smile. He continued to look stuck.  
  
"Wait a second... is this the Luke Doll I ordered a month ago?" She's about to poke him when he finally moves and stumbles on his intended words.  
  
"I... umm... I just..."  
  
"Oh! He moves! Even better!"  
  
"I... brought you something to eat." He holds out the paper bag. The smell of cheeseburgers and chili fries finds it way to Lorelai.  
  
"You didn't need to."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Oh. Well..." Lorelai was sitting on the question of why exactly Luke decided to make this rare visit.  
  
"I uhh... I had a feeling you wouldn't be eating any... and I didn't want you to not..." Luke stumble on the half-lie that's coming out of his mouth and Lorelai comes to his rescue.  
  
"Thank you," she says softly, almost as if she doesn't realize she's saying it. She takes the food from Luke.  
  
He walks in and as she closes the door they're inches away from each other. He looks down at her face.  
  
"Your eyes. they're red."  
  
Lorelai sighs. "Yeah. Well. I'm ok."  
  
Luke nods unconvincingly.  
  
"Let me rephrase that. I *will* be ok."  
  
"Ok." Luke looks down at Lorelai's apprehensive face. Lorelai holds herself there for a second and then with a shake of her head, she moves to the kitchen.  
  
Luke follows her and starts to make a pot of coffee while she's taking the food out of the bag.  
  
Lorelai peers over behind her back. "You're... making coffee!"  
  
"What? You don't want some?"  
  
"No. Of course I do."  
  
"Ok then." Luke smiles and continues his important task. "So... what are you going to buy on the black market?"  
  
"What?" Lorelai is already munching on a fry, feeling better by the second.  
  
"When you opened the door, you were rambling about buying something on the..."  
  
"Ah yes. An Oompa Loompa."  
  
"Ahh."  
  
"So you've seen Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?"  
  
"Um hum." Luke finishes making the coffee and takes a seat across from her, grabbing a wrapped cheeseburger.  
  
Lorelai studies him intently. The way he is avoiding any eye contact gives him away immediately.  
  
"No you haven't."  
  
"No I haven't what?" No eye contact.  
  
"Watched Willy Wonka. Liar." Lorelai snickers at him while unwrapping her burger.  
  
"Have too."  
  
"You're just trying to get out of watching it with me."  
  
Luke screws his face in a typical getting-ready-to-complain fashion. "Well... can you blame me? Oompa Loompas? If those characters are in any way supposed to be taken seriously I might just run away screaming from the TV."  
  
"They aren't supposed to be taken seriously. You're supposed to laugh at their freakish coloring and jolly merriment."  
  
Luke pops a fry into his mouth and mumbles, "Oh, then it sounds like a definite possibility for my own Top Ten list of movies."  
  
Luke lifts his head and prepares to give her his "look-of-gruffy-sarcasm," but her gaze stops him cold.  
  
Lorelai's warm, grateful smile softens Luke's demeanor. She tilts her head and her smile broadens. He senses that she wants to ask him something. He freezes, still looking into her eyes.  
  
Something crosses over Lorelai's expression. Finally breaking Luke's gaze, she decides to let the planned interrogation go.  
  
After a few moments of silent eating, the coffee pot makes its final loud bubbling noise. Lorelai instantly gets a dreamy look on her face.  
  
"Don't you just love the sound of coffee brewing in the twilight hours?"  
  
"Was that a rhetorical question?"  
  
"Hmm." Lorelai slowly gets out of her seat so she can milk her pouty look for all its worth. She pours herself a large cup and grabs two plates from the cupboard.  
  
"Why don't we move this shindig into the living room?"  
  
"Living room?"  
  
"Yeah. You know, room where the majority of the *living* goes on? I know your place is small, Luke, but I'm sure you designate one of your four corners 'the living room' and are familiar with the concept." Lorelai makes her way with food and vital nourishment in hand into her messy living room. "Besides, I can rewind ole Willy and you can once and for all witness the crazy candymaker at his best."  
  
Lorelai gingerly turns around midstep to flash Luke a playful wink.  
  
"I don't know why I'm going along with this."  
  
"Ahh, it's because you love me."  
  
A bitter wisecrack pops into Luke's mind as he mentally stumbles over her comment. He remains motionless as Lorelai casually takes a seat on the couch. She begins to rewind the tape and notices Luke still holding his food and towering off to her side.  
  
"Hey buddy, take a seat." She pats the place next to her, but doesn't move an inch to give him any more room than a few mere centimeters away from her. He quickly shakes the look of fear on his face and plants himself firmly between Lorelai and the arm of the couch.  
  
The music starts as the opening credits roll onto the screen.  
  
Luke thinks to himself that sitting through this childish movie is a small sacrifice to be able to spend this time with Lorelai. He even attempts to appear interested.  
  
"Hey. Gene Wilder is in this?"  
  
"Yeah. He's Willy."  
  
"Wasn't he in."  
  
"Hear No Evil, See No Evil? Yeah."  
  
"With."  
  
"Richard Pryor."  
  
"Yeah. You know, believe it or not, I know these things."  
  
"Sorry. Got a little carried away. My nickname is Killer whenever I play Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon."  
  
"See, that would only work with me if the game dealt with food, or. or hardware. But not movies."  
  
"So, like. Six Degrees of Bob Villa?"  
  
Luke smiles. "Something like that."  
  
Minutes go by. Food is eaten. Luke finally relaxes in his seat, and Lorelai occasionally slaps him on the shoulder for making rude remarks about the shape of Charlie's head. And they continue to sit next to each other, genuinely enjoying each other's company.  
  
"Those people look like they're made of clay. It's disgusting."  
  
"I have no idea what you're talking about."  
  
"Especially the mother. That woman does not look real. She looks like she belongs in a children's claymation special."  
  
"Like you've had first-hand experience watching children's entertainment."  
  
"I've seen my share of eerie, misshapen clay figures passing off as Christmas propaganda, yes."  
  
"I bet you're a closet Rudolph fan."  
  
"Nope. But I will admit I enjoy the Charlie Brown."  
  
"Ah! Who doesn't? But that doesn't surprise me. I mean, of course you'd pick the quintessential example of anti-commercialism."  
  
Luke laughs and turns his head. "That and the fact that that snot, Lucy, got what was coming to her when Snoopy, well, you know."  
  
Only then does he notice that somewhere between "claymation special" and "Ah! Who doesn't," his arm made its sneaky little way to the back of the couch. And there it sat, resting directly behind Lorelai's back. Luke pushed away his instinct to slowly resituate himself so that he wouldn't be so uncomfortably comfortable with her. Instead, he threw caution to the wind by releasing a soft smile. And not moving a muscle.  
  
Lorelai's eyes are led by Luke's and she too sees the apt placement of his right arm. Hmm, Mr. Danes, she says to herself. What exactly are you doing here?  
  
She catches his eye once more and surprisingly, they hold still. The sound of the Candy Man singing his sugary song seems to be drifting to some other room. Her face is warm under Luke's unusual interest.  
  
She tries her best to conceal the slightly nervous gulp that creeps in before her words. "Movie not tickling your fancy?"  
  
That does it. Luke becomes Luke again. "Uh, no no, it's..," he stammers as he turns his head quickly to the screen, then the floor, then the table, then the screen again. Lorelai silently curses her big mouth. "It's very... well, different."  
  
Lorelai uncomfortably shifts her attention to the screen as well, but a giddy smirk makes its way to her expression.  
  
The ringing of the phone cuts through the room and both of them suck in startled breaths.  
  
Please don't let it be my mother, please don't let it be my mother, Lorelai mentally chants. She finds the phone off to the side. She reaches for it, consciously trying to not move that far from what has been such a comfortable position. She looks at it quickly, and mutters, "Damn, I wish we had caller ID."  
  
*Beep* "Hello?"  
  
"I don't hear Billy Idol in the background."  
  
"Rory. Sweetie. What's up?"  
  
"'What's up?' Uh oh. What's wrong, Mom? I wasn't sure if I should call, but I took a chance and I wanted to see."  
  
"Nothing's wrong, babe." Lorelai flounders with what to say. "We can talk when you get home."  
  
Rory can hear it in her voice. "Something happened."  
  
"It's okay . I'm okay. I just don't want to talk about it on the phone."  
  
"I'm coming home, then."  
  
"No! I mean." Lorelai steals a glance at Luke, who even though he's trying his best to look disinterested, is raptly listening to every word. "I need some time alo-." Luke's eyes dart over in her direction. "I need some time to think. I'm fine, believe me. You stay at Lane's for the night, and tomorrow morning we'll sit and have coffee and chat this whole thing out until our lungs collapse, our faces turn a grotesque shade of cerulean blue, and our tongues fall out of our mouths."  
  
Lorelai notices the disgusted face on Luke, who is still "nonchalantly" staring at the television screen. Rory's verbal response is quite similar.  
  
"Ewww."  
  
"It's just a way of saying 'I mean business,' kiddo."  
  
"Maybe next time you can just say 'And I mean business.'"  
  
"Fair enough."  
  
"Are you sure you're going to be okay tonight?"  
  
"I'm positive."  
  
"Call me at any time if you need me for anything, okay?"  
  
"But you're at Lane's."  
  
"Use her secret phone line."  
  
"But even then, her mother would awaken from the shrill sound of the phone, think it's some sort of Lust Demon out to get the two unassuming teenage girls that are asleep in the house, and probably come barging into Lane's room with a broomstick. Or better yet, with the metal bat that is no doubt lying under her bed."  
  
"We'll be in the closet, which Lane just recently had equipped with that bumpy foam used for soundproofing, so it's all good."  
  
Lorelai smiles. "Okay, hon. Will do. I love you."  
  
"Love you, too."  
  
"Night."  
  
"Night."  
  
Lorelai hangs up the phone and takes a deep breath.  
  
Luke ponders whether or not to make it known that he is well aware that she was about to say "I want to be alone" but couldn't. She was trying to give Rory good reason not to come over and interrupt their, uh, movie watching-- yes, he'll call it movie watching--without letting on to Luke that that was what she was trying to do. Of course, she failed miserably, and Luke wants nothing more than to have a little fun with that fact.  
  
He decides on letting it go, though, since he fancies himself the prudent one. And it doesn't feel right when Lorelai is sitting next to him with that look on her face.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Lorelai looks up at Luke's apology with incredulous eyes. "For what?"  
  
"You deserve better."  
  
Those three simple words cause a lump to form in the back of her throat. She tucks her hair behind one ear, as her eyes well up slightly. No crying. It freaks Luke out.  
  
"You're too good to me, Luke."  
  
I just care, Lorelai. Unfortunately, Luke just thinks those words, and they never find his lips. Instead, he looks sheepishly at a spot on the couch. He doesn't notice Lorelai's penetrating gaze, her contemplative features.  
  
She breaks the silence with, "You know, Luke, I'll let you get away unscathed from this awkward moment and head home. If you want to leave, that is. We should call it a night, anyway."  
  
He continues to stare at the couch a few moments longer, and then lifts his eyes to meet hers. "Actually, if you don't mind, I'd like to finish this ridiculous movie that you forced upon me." He forces a bit of his usual gruffness into the words, for emphasis.  
  
A slow smile emerges from Lorelai as she settles back into the couch. "Are you saying that Willy's elusive charm has actually made an impact on you?"  
  
Luke stretches on arm behind Lorelai, not even thinking twice, and relaxes into the moment. "What can I say, I have thing for psychadelic boat trips," he deadpans.  
  
"Hehe. You said 'trip.'"  
  
"Shut up and watch the movie, Lorelai."  
  
She looks over at his face, illuminated by the television screen, and gets a strange feeling. A feeling similar to when she once saw Rick Springfield walking down Hiatt Street in Hartford while simultaneously running face- first into a light post. It is a good feeling. Obviously, more similar to the spotting-Rick-Springfield feeling and not the face-in-the-light-post feeling.  
  
Lorelai begins to hear "Dreamsome" by Shelby Lynne play in her head as she settles herself into Luke's outstretched arm. She yawns slightly and uses her exhaustion as an excuse to sink even further and rest her head a little to the left. "A little to the left" being Luke's shoulder.  
  
Luke looks down at the top of Lorelai's head, barely making out the curves of her forehead and nose. Content that for once he did not walk away with his head down and his tail between his legs. He's staying. He's sitting. He's watching short, round, discolored people sing songs that are actually eerie midget riddles. And all with a smile on his face.  
  
Willy Wonka plays on for a good hour or so. Outside, the sky gets darker, the stars get brighter, and across town, Miss Patty turns in her sleep, mumbling something about the "perfect uniformity" of Matt Damon's ass. In the Gilmore house, the light from the TV flickers, and all is calm. Everything is still except Luke's head, which wobbles in a state of semi- sleep. His head jerks up and he looks to find the credits rolling.  
  
He inhales deeply and stretches his back, careful not to stir Lorelai, who is still resting on his arm.  
  
Hoping she hasn't noticed his half-asleep state, he musters some fake enthusiasm, "That was one fine piece of entertainment." He waits for her rebuttal, but after a moment's silence, he leans down to find her fast asleep.  
  
At first, he becomes nervous; he doesn't want to move and wake her. But I can't stay here all night, he thinks. Rory would find us.  
  
"Lorelai," Luke whispers, leaning towards her peaceful face. "Lorelai, are you awake?"  
  
No response.  
  
Luke remembers that she once slept through an earthquake, so if she really is asleep, he's sure he can lay her down with no disturbance. Moving his arm so that he craddles her head, he slides off of the couch, grabs her legs, and situates her comfortably on the couch. Quietly, he picks up the blanket from the floor and covers her.  
  
For good measure, Luke finds another blanket and places it on top of the other. The first one looked too thin.  
  
He turns off the television and stretches more fully all of his aching joints. He picks up the dirty dishes and takes them to the kitchen, where he cleans them along with the coffee pot. He prepares a full pot for the morning so that all Lorelai has to do when she gets up is flip the switch. He also leaves a note saying he's done so, because, knowing Lorelai, she'll be too drowsy and attempt to make a pot, ruining the whole perfect concoction.  
  
He checks the lock on the back door before heading toward the living room one last time. He looks at Lorelai's sleeping form, the covers rising and falling to the rhythm of her breathing.  
  
"Goodnight," he whispers.  
  
Locking the door on the inside, Luke heads out into the crisp night air and onto the porch. He inspects the railing before he walks away. Grinning, Luke takes his first steps down the street, back to his place. He'll never admit it, but for the first and last time in his life, he is completely grateful that Sookie can be so incessantly annoying. 


End file.
